Sexual Assault 17 Years Of Silence.

[Littlebirdy44]

It took me 17 years to work up the courage to finally speak up. 17 years of pretending that what he was doing to me, to a little 5 year old girl was just all in my head. That I was the bad one, the dirty one, the freak. 17 years is a long time guys..especially when you're just a kid. But you know what ...tomorrow that silence ends (: Finally the little girl that was repeatedly violated back then will gain back her voice, only this time it'll be stronger and louder. My hearts both pounding with fear and excitement but I think I'm ready. It won't be easy. And with my current situation looking as dark as it does the road forward's going to be complete hell but I'm ready to take back my life! Even if it is one baby step at a time! Also I just wanted to thank all the kind hearts who have reached out to me in my last few posts. I'm still new here but I can't help shake the feeling of feeling at home lol. As cheesy as that sounds I mean it. just know I'm truly thankful for you all and this community!

Whelp tomorrow's the big day! Hopefully it goes well! If you pray, pray for me!! (:

 

[Bristol]

It took me 17 years to work up the courage to finally speak up. 17 years of pretending that what...

Go for it Littlebirdy we are all behind you!

 

[SinkorSwim]

You can do it! I recently disclosed my abuse as well after 22 years. I can tell you I am feeling way better but I still have a long ways to go!

 

[Deleted member 39333]

It took me 40 years, and the only person I have ever told still is the therapist.

 

[Copper Princess]

@Littlebirdy44 how are you?

 

[SinkorSwim]

Yes how are you? I just got into the memories part of revealing and that was tough but I knew I was tougher and I really thought it would be better for me to talk about it than to write it out

 

[Littlebirdy44]

@Littlebirdy44 how are you?

My T told me I needed to tell someone because I don't currently have any support and she suggested my mom. The problem is is that my father has borderline personality disorder and my mother is codependent so receiving emotional support from either was an extremely difficult step for me. To be honest I was upset that my T wanted me to tell someone else because I wasn't at all ready but I did any way because I trust her. I ended up getting pretty drunk and telling my mom the other night and I thought things were good but the next day it blew up in my face when my father found out and tried to acuse me of lying and attention seeking I've been having a hard time since. I even decided to cancel my therapy session this week which I know is bad but I just could face it all. I wish I could say things are good but they're slowly darkening for me.

 

[Littlebirdy44]

I know I'm resilient and will overcome this because I always pull through but it's just all a lot at the moment. On top of moving out, my best friend having a schizophrenic episode and my father losing 30,000 cause of his gambling addiction. It is just one crisis after another

 

[Copper Princess]

I know I'm resilient and will overcome this because I always pull through but it's just all a lot...

@Littlebirdy44 I am so sorry!! I hope you change your mind and go to therapy to let your therapist know what happened. We are here to support you. We believe you! I know it is not the same but there is a lot of support right here you if you need us.

 

[SinkorSwim]

Please tell your therapist this. It was not there intention to hurt you. They need to know what you are feeling right now to help you otherwise you just become stuck.

 

[Littlebirdy44]

Please tell your therapist this. It was not there intention to hurt you. They need to know what you...

I know I feel so silly and immature for getting upset with her. I'm just so used to no one giving a shit about me and taking care of myself without anyone's help. But that's the exact reason I started therapy was to learn to trust people again and to process all this trauma. I think what I'm experiencing is transference and I just keep blaming my T for everything and I know if I don't tell her just like you said I'll be stuck. Ahh I have to go. This sucks lol

 

[Littlebirdy44]

@Littlebirdy44 I am so sorry!! I hope you change your mind and go to therap...

thank you friend <3 I've realized that this site is helping me WAY more than I even expected. I'm honestly so thankful!