4 Day Panic Attack Last Week

[Underdog]

I joined last week after telling some friends what was going on with me for the past few years. Didn't know what was happening the next day but knew my fight/flight was activated on Tuesday. Wednesday it was nearly out of control and I lost myself on an "extended" walk. Friday, I was shaking and went numb in the face and my entire body was tingling. There was no emotion until late Friday, nor any specific memory of an event or person. I was blank. I was experiencing memory loss and short moments of black outs. Although I spoke with a friend who suffers as well, she said calling the doctors would only mean meds. I've never experienced that level of attack before without lucid memories, so I didn't know how to attack/shut it down. My only instinct was to run, run, run!

My T talked me down. Said she was surprised I hadn't experienced this sooner. Please bear in mind I was having blackouts and memory loss, so I will know better later this week when we speak. But I remember her saying my physical sensations were a natural neurological reaction given lack of oxygen during a prolonged attack. Also, since I am finally feeling safe that it didn't surprise her to see me not having a specific thought or feeling, but having spoken to friends who stirred so much deep rooted anger that I tried my hardest to hide, that there wouldn't be a specific memory or thought with this episode.

I had my blood pressure measured about an hour after I started to calm down and could drive again. I'm meeting with my doctor on Monday for the first time since I knew what was happening to me, so that should be an interesting conversation. My therapist and I meet Tuesday.

Although my T has historically strongly urged me away from wrong thought paths and ideas (and STRONGLY asked then pleaded for me to leave my job towards the end), I am finding that while I know she mentioned PTSD both specifically and metaphorically, I can't remember her actual saying it. I will be asking for further details when we speak. We have spoke of PTSD symptoms now for many months (if not for over a year) and she has always agreed and never led me in another direction. She knows I've been researching and still never redirected me. Yet, when I explained my thoughts last week about opening up to friends that abandoned me and the issues as the catalyst, she was quick to say that while she understands, to not compromise myself by not blaming them for what they did and laying blame on myself for it all. Not once in the past year has she ever tried to stop me from exploring chronic PTSD... Not once... Finding that I truly need to hear my T give me a name and date of diagnosis, but I am terrified to ask and give that to my doctor.

I hate meds!!!!

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I guess I am a bit confused. I don't see how a good therapist merely wards a client away from the wrong path but doesn't encourage their client to seek out an accurate diagnosis. No, a diagnosis isn't necessarily the end all and be all of healing, but with PTSD, at least you'd know you're on the right path. More than anything, I'd be pissed that a therapist wasted a year of my time without encouraging me to see a doctor to get an accurate diagnosis!

And I doubt that what you experienced was a true panic attack. Panic attacks don't last 4 days, and panic attacks....well, they are FULL of emotion. They aren't numbing episodes like you have described. Hence the term 'panic'....

 

[Chava]

I hope your appointments go well. Just be honest about your symptoms and any past experiences with meds. A diagnosis doesn't automatically imply medication. And it's also possible to be prescribed medication for clear symptoms that don't necessarily form a clear diagnosis. Basically, diagnosis and medication do not go perfectly hand in hand, though it often feels that way in our healthcare system.

Most typical anxiety meds worked poorly for me, and while benzos might have helped, my doctor didn't want to prescribe because of my chemical abuse history (and I respected that and agreed). We all have to know when symptoms are too much. Panic, if intense, can make me want to hurt myself, so that's not cool. And it's just hard on the body if it lasts long.

Medication can't cure us really, but if a med is a good fit it can help manage symptoms and make recovery easier. For me, this is the case with physical pain. A small as-needed muscle relaxant releases spasms so I can hold myself up, move, and do things that help me heal.

Some people use medication daily while others as needed (like SSRIs are daily but benzos more as needed, like for panic episodes). Your doctor can't force you to take medication. It helps me to make notes to take to the doctor so we can have a conversation about options....I'm open to my doctor's suggestions and have tried some different things, but I don't go into an appointment feeling like I'm not a part of this...I bring my concerns and typically several questions.

I'd tend to agree with Solara that a panic attack wouldn't likely be that long...often they ride out in about half an hour because of sheer intensity and exhaustion of the nervous system. Mine are short waves of feeling like I'm dying (your episode of numb face and tingling sounds like some of my panic symptoms). I'd pass out if they lasted long, and wake up calmer...because passing out or blacking out is basically an extreme way of having the PNS (parasympathetic nervous system) come back online to relieve your body. But that's not to say you aren't experiencing some waves of panic, or a highly anxious or dysregulated state of some sort. Diagnosis would probably be helpful, if you can make good note of all symptoms for the doc.

 

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

My therapist gave me a diagnosis of PTSD right away, but after a couple of months, I had her read me all of the symptoms and confirm why she felt that I had it. I knew I had PTSD, I just needed that extra confirmation. The same thing happened when it changed from PTSD to complex-PTSD and when she diagnosed me with DID. Sometimes it helps to have things spelled out.

I hate the idea of medications and I won't try to explain why because I can't put it into words yet. My therapist has not once tried to force the idea upon me. Initially we tried to talk about it, that didn't work so now it is "the subject of which we do not speak". My primary care doctor oddly didn't believe in anxiety meds and I never once talked to him about it. I am changing doctors and hope the new doctor will be understanding of my choice to not do medications. It's your choice regardless of the doctor's recommendation.

I have experienced the numb face and tingling body sensations when panicking. It is awful. I had just my face a couple of times and then when I was in the ER for a stomach virus my whole body felt numb and tingly. I was even more panicked then. My therapist helped reassure me later that it is a normal reaction.

Good luck on your journey and with your appointments.

 

[greenleaf]

Hello @Underdog, I'm really sorry for the horrible time you're going through. Not being able to calm down is a terrible state, and I hope you'll be kind to yourself. You would be kind to a friend who was going through this, right?

I agree with @Chava and @Solara... Panic attacks are not the only thing that can happen with ptsd. Have you looked into "dissociation"? Numbing, both emotional and bodily, can be a type of that. It's very common with "complex ptsd" (which is actually an older name; some of the newer diagnoses for ptsd types include dissociation in their name.) I look at that as one's nervous system throwing a circuit breaker.

Yes -- medications can help you heal; it can be difficult to work on the underlying issues if you can't focus at all due to a nervous system stuck in high gear. Please be kind to yourself, your body included!

 

[Underdog]

First, thank you all for your thoughts, comments and encouragement. I have calmed down and learned a few things, and hope to continue learning.

I suppose the phrase "panic attack" is my word to describe it as I don't have any other at the moment other than fight/flight. The true panic attack was Friday when I started shaking uncontrollably and realized things were getting worse. When I started to tell the doctor over the phone what was happening and what my T said, that's when the subject of PTSD arose and he wanted to know exactly when I was diagnosed. I couldn't give him an exact date because I had not been told when either. That is when I started thinking that if my T has allowed me to continue talking about PTSD and the symptoms this whole time and didn't stop me, I would be furious! Honestly, I can't believe she would do that so I intend to ask her directly tomorrow a bunch of questions. If she led me down the wrong path, I will be angry beyond belief! But given how strongly she pleaded with me to leave my toxic situation and urged me to do so about 3 years prior to things going south fast, I am having a hard time believing she wouldn't stop me from pursuing wrong research directions. She has also quickly stopped me from many other things, including accepting responsibility or guilt many, many times.

 

[Underdog]

Guess I should add that my BP was 143/100 on Friday. Today it was 125/88.

 

[BloomInWinter]

What you are describing is what occurs when I am having a lot of hyper-vigilance. It used to stay with me for weeks. Now, it only bothers me for hours to days, thankfully.