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5 Things I'm Thinking Today

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1. Not sure why I keep getting upset stomach
2. Not sure why I said congratulations to someone's engagement announcement when I really didn't mean it
3. Not sure where I'm going
4. Not sure why I feel like crying
5. Not sure what to have for dinner
 
how did I end up back sleeping on the couch again for the last 3 days without realising it
I need to not get stuck back there
5/6am is not a normal sleep time
Peace and quiet
Balancing rest/self care and effectiveness is a true balancing act.
 
I don't agree with what girl guiding has done
I don't support misogynists
I see that the world is still run by men
My boundaries are super important
I am really angry.
 
Why can't I just say goodbye like a normal person.
Crisis team again=failure.
I can't shake of this low mood.
He does care about me.
So not looking forward to Friday and having to put on a "mask" for two days.
 
1. Not lowering the bar as I see what complacency does.
2. Change takes time and new habits have to be developed.
3. Need to learn to empower myself and not search outside.
4. Isolation hasn't been the answer as it needs to be a blend of social and quiet, but not a total withdrawal.
5. Never underrate the power of good health habits and good mental health habits. Co morbidity of physical and mental illness makes it even more of a priority.
 
1. Love the summer weather and glad the farrier is coming today when it is warm. Hard time finding fly spray refill yesterday.
2. Finding that organization saves 70% of effort.
3. Learning to tend to my own needs and putting myself first more frequently. Still a learning process.
4. Planning this weekends camping trip and need to work on getting over my reluctance to get on a motorcycle.
5. Working on just being more me.
 
achieved something today for the first time in my life that others do all the time yet am in my 50's. Who thought some stuff could change,
weirdly after effect is what feels like emotional and physical shock. Weird stuff happening. Think reliving as backlash when did well.
being present allows decision making and change
being present is empowering and horrible.
core self frozen.
 
I didn't really have the patience for this tonight
this sinus infection has really got to go
any cat, no matter how nice, may turn into an absolute demon when getting an enema
on a related note, one of my favorite file notes is "gets aggressive with butt stuff".
I don't want to miss therapy again but tomorrow is going to be a hell of a long day. blah. don't wanna
 
-can I make it through this life
-I don't think I can ever take a "break" from my mental health
-my medication is good for my anxiety and life but I'm having difficulty with motivation (+I don't want to look at my traumas right now)(I don't need to look at my trauma, I can just work on regulation)
-I need to work on me before I work on real-life relationships
-I recognize that I have made amazing progress over the last year.
 
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