1. Feel thankful / relieved friend said didn't lie, and not leaving. Did not see any possible explanation that was honest.
2. Learned something: didn't care (as in cared, yes, but you don't control whether someone is lying, so I got to the point I gave up caring hoping they weren't, just felt sad), but I did realize isn't it strange, how I take on the shame of what others have done, upon myself. I think many of us do, we get the abuse and feel shame and things.
3. In another way, it doesn't matter. Tbh I don't feel very good, and am losing weight. Mostly I have no appetite but have been forcing myself to eat lots. Weird because I've felt a lot worse other times , with bad (other) symptoms.There's a strange relief to me though, in so far as though it sounds nuts and dumb whatever I die from one day I'll be happy if it's natural vs SI. Only on a ptsd forum can you say that. :hilarious: In another way it may be a blessing/ get going and live more freely
4. Still happy, thankful.
5. I hope I can get out of work earlier by starting back earlier.