5 Things I'm Thinking Today

[Muttly]

@SophiaWisdom sending some gentle support your way.

//

1) I can think of maybe 1 time when I worked harder physically, at work. I actually like that, especially since I was also the manager and had a lot of stuff to keep track of and manage but holy shit am I tired. And I am going to be sore tomorrow.
2) I can't believe that popped lose like that. I'm probably very lucky I wear glasses because my face got so splattered by hot grease. I hope I don't look totally potmarked tomorrow.
3) I'm in that, too tired to go to bed mode
4) I really am glad D is shifting to the late night shift. I don't like him. I'm tired of giving him rides. I don't find him funny. And he is also triggering. And yet, I'm such a ... sucker, that if he was still on my shift I'd probably keep giving him rides
5) Also, homeless people are not evil. homeless people are not dangerous. homeless people are not addicts... etc. Some may be. Many are not. The attitudes most people have about homeless folks really piss me off. (D was all weirded out, because there was a homeless guy sleeping by the library book drop.). I told him I wasn't worried and new most of the homeless in the area, in part because I volunteered for the local homeless shelter/center. He then asked me if anyone had tried to knife me. Bah.

 

[Ronin]

1. I manage to say it if I don't care about judgment at all. Facepalms.
2. Years & effects still can't be told as in can't be shared without the shared experience.
3. Thankful for the pointers. Yeah, I can't f*cking get normal employments straight.
4. Yesterday is what? Buried.
5. Headsib is right, it's painkillers-until-I-f*cking-sleep time. Leads me to another thought, I f*cking hate those almost-an-addict thought patterns f*cking again, but someone told me being an addict is better than being f*cking dead.

... And given that someone was so dear, he'd f*cking know. It doesn't matter I disagree. Don't argue with former command. Don't argue with people that know better. Shut your face & suck it up, buttercup.

 

[Ronin]

@SophiaWisdom:

Not having found it yet?
Means love is waiting for you in the future, and will be there, all the more of it, for all the lost years.

You've got to wait it out. You've got to move through the now, till tomorrow. You've got to give yourself the love and kindness you need, now, or collect it wherever you can, bit by bit, if you're too done and not able to give it to yourself, now. It's okay. It will be.

 

[Chiqui]

I have a mouth/teeth infection
I don't wanna go to the dentist
I feel it in my neck
I just want to lay down
I can't eat and I am feeling weak. Please, ring NOW for an appoinment.

 

[Teasel]

Hope you get it sorted @MariaY

1 ~ I have a deep and abiding love for Nettle tea.
2 ~ when I meditate the feeling of intrinsic worthlessness goes away.
3 ~ Or at least, if it comes up, after feeling it, it does.
4 ~ I'm gonna meditate the shit outta myself.
5 ~ Curry for lunch.

 

[Chiqui]

Hope you get it sorted @MariaY

1 ~ I have a deep and abiding love for Nettle tea....

Thanks, just booked for tomorrow @Berlinda :tup:

 

[Anrish]

1. @Naoru : Where can I get a ticket for your performance? :p
2. Another day over.
3. Being around so many people makes me so tired in the evening.
4. The pasta from this evening feels like stones in my stomach...:confused:
5. Getting problems with my ellbow again because I write too much with my hand again...

 

[Muttly]

1. I don't understand how I'm functioning I've had so little sleep
2. I need to write this out. I don't know what was dream what was memory and what was sleep paralysis. The later it gets the more it troubles me
3. So much back pain today too
4. And yet I'm in a relatively good mood some of that may be because my business is becoming a reality and so is probably just adrenaline
5. Lunch was so freaking good

 

[Ronin]

1. More clarifications. I won't be leaving debts. Ok, what else was on this 'shit to do, yet' list. Letters. Returning keys.
2. ('That thing? That was an operational f*ckup, that wasn't you.' -R.K.)
3. I can't generalize that damned thing. That 'it wasn't you', about a darned thing. And when I'm busy not touching people so I don't break them, I break shit by words.
4. The waves.
5. & The wind. Peace.

 

[Muttly]

@Ronin not tracking well lately. Are you ok?

1) I'm remembering when I had a "team" and they all went on and on about the importance of sleep until I finally accepted that and made efforts. of course they mostly didn't know about the DID and I mostly didn't either and how some of us slept while others didn't. But I digress. I know, I know about the importance of sleep but I don't think it's going to happen.
2) I sent my t an email. I (we) said what happened. we actually said it. not eluding. not us fighting about what was real and some knowing and others not
3) I cried. it's been a while. I suppose that's a good thing (that I cried). perhaps in the midst of this hash up, I'm doing some things right?
4) how had I never really listened to BB King before. He is amazing.
5) when you don't sleep there's a lot of hours to fill. I wish someone was online. I don't like needing people but right now I wish there was someone... cripes, crying once was fine, but I think I'll skip a repeat

 

[Ronin]

@Muttly, I will be. I need to wait out this shitmood of a month long sucker.

Your third: You're doing everything right, not just something. You're keeping y'all alive.

& (Tissues for the crying and blanket for a can't-cry/won't-cries.)

 

[cj77]

@Anrish and everyone: I am doing good but not logging in until I get a really safe connection ;)

Hope you're all ok

Scenery here is absolutely amazing :D

Yay!

More yay! :p

Cj xoxoxo