A Betrayed Caregiver

[Iwudo]

My marine passed away a year ago on Sunday. I am still grieving, angry and hurt. He never divorced his first wife nor did he tell me that they had been married in the first place much to my surprise. I found out after he passed away and was unable to get any of the benefits as a his legal spouse.

Not only did he have PTSD but he has left me scarred also suffering from PTSD. We went through so much together and the love affair that I had and believed we shared has left me betrayed. His family and wife #1 are horrible people and I have had to leave them where they are so I can move on. I had to cut off all communication with his friends as well as I am no longer certain who is an enemy or genuinely concerned. My daughter, his sons, and I suffered a loss I cannot put into words because this was unexpected. As far as I can tell the kids and I are casualties that could have been avoided had someone chose to speak up about the situation my marine put us all in.

I worn persons getting involved with persons who suffer to really check them out if you choose to become a caregiver. I was his caregiver I sat at his hospital bedside and I took care of our family to include their children now I feel used, like a fool who has been hurt beyond repair unable to grieve like a proper widow.

I loved our happy times and that is about all I have left. I know in his own way he loved me but it didn't stop him from hurting me and leaving with no understanding of his actions. I cry still and miss him - this is hard top overcome and move on from. I am now more damaged mentally and I never thought for once this person would

 

[Amak]

Some of us are total c*nts, for true. Others of us are incapable of dealing with real world stresses like paperwork, so without professionals handling our affairs, we end up in tangled legal nightmares. Or leave our loved ones in tangled legal nightmares. It's taken me over 18 mo to fill out a simple application. Spent the past three days solid puking and shaking and suicidal just from trying to fill it out. It strikes some of us that way, sometimes. First world normalcy no longer makes sense, or what once was easy and simple, is near impossible. So my hope for you, is that he was like me, too damn broken for this world anymore... And loved you beyond measure.

My deepest condolences on the loss of your beloved.

SemperFidelis

 

[Ibu]

Some of us are total c*nts, for true. Others of us are incapable of dealing with real world stresses like paperwork, so wi...

Thank you for your added insight. As well I appreciate your condolences.

I sincerely hope you are able to complete your paperwork and or find someone who can assist. Believe me I dread opening the mail, filling out paperwork and having to rehash what has happened to someone new like my tax professional. Please do not leave the unfinished business behind for your loved ones because it perpetuates the cycle.