JEKBreatheandBelieve
Diamond Member
Some of you know how much I worry about my relationship with my children and how much I fear I hurt them (emotionally) and my husband (who I feel is burdened with so much) when am around or when in treatment. Today I feel a little ray of hope (through this rainy day). Today, my husband, my 7 year old, my 4 year old, and I ran a 1 mile road race together! My husband and 7 year old ran together and I ran with my 4 year old.
My 4 year old impressed me with his persistence. He hardly walked at all! His idea of a short walking break was 2 steps and then we'd run again. And he talked the whole time! My 7 year old finished in around 10 minutes and that was impressive to me.
Turns out my 4 year old came in second place for the 6 and under category and got a trophy. My older son did not get any awards and is was very upset and jealous- he hated his brother, thought it was a stupid day, and never wanted to run again....
Then, he and I took the elevator down (while the other 2 took the stairs). I asked my son how he had felt immediately finished the race. The words happy, proud, and tired came out. Then, I asked if after the his brother won the trophy, he was feeling upset and jealous and he agreed. I then, pointed out that he was letting that ruin his happiness. That it was okay to be upset and jealous, but he could also still be happy for the fun we had as a family and he had running.
I didn't think anything I said had sunk in. But as we were buckling up in the car, he said "Next, year I am going to try to run in 9 minutes or less. Maybe I could run another race too." And just like that he was back. Maybe there is hope for my little family after all.
My 4 year old impressed me with his persistence. He hardly walked at all! His idea of a short walking break was 2 steps and then we'd run again. And he talked the whole time! My 7 year old finished in around 10 minutes and that was impressive to me.
Turns out my 4 year old came in second place for the 6 and under category and got a trophy. My older son did not get any awards and is was very upset and jealous- he hated his brother, thought it was a stupid day, and never wanted to run again....
Then, he and I took the elevator down (while the other 2 took the stairs). I asked my son how he had felt immediately finished the race. The words happy, proud, and tired came out. Then, I asked if after the his brother won the trophy, he was feeling upset and jealous and he agreed. I then, pointed out that he was letting that ruin his happiness. That it was okay to be upset and jealous, but he could also still be happy for the fun we had as a family and he had running.
I didn't think anything I said had sunk in. But as we were buckling up in the car, he said "Next, year I am going to try to run in 9 minutes or less. Maybe I could run another race too." And just like that he was back. Maybe there is hope for my little family after all.
