A Hard Truth

[Barberian]

Zip, count me as someone who wants you to stay. We all have our own perspective on life, and our own oppinions. That's life. It's impossible to please everyone all the time. Your perspecive, experience and knowledge of the beast is needed here just like everyone else. I'm not taking sides, I'm just saying everyone take a deep breath in... Hold it.... let it go. Relax. Each side has said thier peace, no one was trying to offend anyone else. Lets get on with helping each other kick the beast out of our lives.

 

[kayak]

I agree...I hope you stay Zip. I too have been attacked on this forum, and I learned from it. Like relationships in real life, I learned that there are those in this forum with whom I can be open, and those with whom I limit my information. The way I see it, this forum is a testing ground for real life...a lot like therapy is. With regard to Sea - I like him, feel a great deal of affection toward him, and he is one of the few I trust quite openly on this forum. I don't know what happened with him, and I don't know if banning him was the right thing to do, but I do know that if he chooses to return I for one will welcome him back whole heartedly. I'll share my paddle with Sea Monster any day.

 

[KP the nut]

I'd like to remind everyone, that if they feel a post is 'attacking' towards another member or to themselves, to please hit the report button. This way it will come to a moderators attention sooner rather than later.

Wishing you all peace
KP

 

[Srain]

I don't anything about anything that went on, I will just say that I'm a STRONG believer in "nothing about me without me".

Thank you for the reminder KP.

Peace,
Rain

 

[Meadowsweet]

Speaking from a perspective of knowing very few people, and certainly not knowing what this thread refers to in particular.

But I think when something arises that is difficult to cope with, everyone is responsible for how they react. And rules here are non-biased and that prevents them from being deemable as a personal attack.

That protects both the members and the moderators.

But I don't think it helps the person who is triggered, to accommodate behaviour if its abusive. It reinforces that its ok, and its not.

But to me, it seems that quite a lot of abuse as well as military training involves conditioning to get people to accept behaviour that is unacceptable in many 'normal' circumstances. Its very difficult when you realise that something you've done because you've been taught its what you should do, is not acceptable in the new circumstances you're in.

Many people benefit from time out, but its difficult to come back and say that you meesed up. To really support people, I think temporary bans are helpful, and sometimes can get people out of a situation that is fuelling their distress.

But I think for a person recovering to find that they have been named in a discussion makes it harder for them to come back and resume recovery and support. So I do feel that issues can be discussed without naming individuals.

 

[anthony]

The issue here is more "why would we ban someone who needs help." And as I think I pointed out, the fact that their issues can affect other members of the forum is the answer.

Your question, and only a part of the answer.

Not everyone can be helped, nor is everyone in a current place to be helped adequately.

If you want to use Sea within your post, then you need to use BPD within your post as being the primary cause.

Many do not understand the severity that BPD can have. I know there are people here with it who function just fine. I would take a stab that many here with that diagnosis more than likely don't actually have it, and it is misdiagnosed. Sea is not one of those cases, and has BPD.

BPD can literally be uncontrollable. Sea has been on staffs watch list for quite a long time, and Sea has done many right things even in his state by what has been asked of him, being to keep his posts in his diary only because he is not fit to post on the forum elsewhere at present.

Now removing Sea from the equation, reenter BPD. Anyone who displays severity of BPD to an uncontrolled state in the past, has been banned. They have also been randomly allowed back a year or so later, giving time a chance for them to have sought the local, professional help they need, of which this forum cannot give them. This forum is more than likely causing more harm to someone with BPD than doing good, when at that severity.

So... to completely answer the question of "why would we ban someone who needs help?" The answer is because not everyone can be helped via this means. This very means can be more damaging and destructive, than helpful, to certain persons.

PTSD Forum is not here to help everyone, that is the simple truth. It is here purely to help a majority of people who have reached a stage of wanting to help themselves first and foremost. Nobody can help a person with PTSD, unless that person has decided and committed they truly want to help themselves.

 

[ClairBear226]

In that case, Claire and I invoke our powers to make you stay. :D

YUP! It's settled! (Really, who's gonna argue with a pink goose anyway? :p)

If you want to use Sea within your post, then you need to use BPD within your post as being the primary cause.

I'm going to ask the stupid question just for clarity's sake. Anthony, by "BPD", you are referring to bi poloar dsorder, correct?

It's been awhile since I've read all the wiki stuff on PTSD, but PTSD, as a "worst case scenario" can include BPD, right? Do the symptoms of BPD sometimes override what we normally think of as more basic PTSD symptoms? I vaguely remember hearing that dual diagnoses of bipolar and PTSD were incorrect, as the bipolar diagnosis fits within that of PTSD. But maybe I misunderstood? Can bipolar disorder be the primary issue, then, even in someone with PTSD? Not challenging any decisions, just trying to understand.

 

[kayak]

IMHO, and I'm just putting this out there, I think it's ridiculous to think that any of us know what Sea's diagnosis is or what he is (or was) really experiencing. We're not Sea. And we're certainly not his therapist. Maybe he's got BPD. Maybe PTSD. Maybe he was psychotic. Whatever...we can guess, and we can use what information he's chosen to give us, but to talk about it like we know is just...not cool. The behavior is the same regardless of the diagnostic label - so please stop labeling it.

 

[anthony]

IMHO, and I'm just putting this out there, I think it's ridiculous to think that any of us know what Sea's diagnosis is or what he is (or was) really experiencing. We're not Sea. And we're certainly not his therapist. Maybe he's got BPD. Maybe PTSD. Maybe he was psychotic.

Sea has stated he is Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) diagnosed and has been in and out of a treatment facility for quite some time.

Again, Sea has been quite forthcoming and tried his best to comply with forum policy and my own discussions with him to avoid being banned, however; the illness is what it is and not always within his control. Sea has done the right things on the forum, though is dragging people down with him left and right in the live chat, as a result of the severity of his illness.

These are not guesses, these statements are based on Sea's own disclosure to try and do the right thing. Psychiatrists have taught me how to spot BPD upon a forum like this, what will be classic tell tail signs, and he has displayed them since being here, and has been in discussion with me or other staff to try and manage his actions upon this forum.

Sea will be more than welcome back here, ONCE he has sought treatment that can help him manage himself with greater stability.

Whilst this forum is PTSD, none of us are capable of handling a personality disorder that is in full flight out of control, thus why such persons are banned for the overall safety of the majority.

 

[Kimpersonal]

Sea has stated he is Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)

I am going to state that I have borderline tendencies. C-PTSD which is now coined Complex Trauma seems to share symptoms with both PTSD and BPD.

There. I've admitted it.

My Mom has MPD/DID (formally diagnosed) ... my Brother has Asperger's Sydrome (formally diagnosed) ... my Father is Narcissistic (too proud to ever be diagnosed). What chance did I really have? Snicker.

Ain't life fun? Just like a big 'ol circus! Same stale popcorn.

 

[anthony]

Complex trauma does not mean you have BPD. BPD is an Axis II personality disorder, and you would know it if your psychiatrist diagnosed you with it.

Complex trauma is diagnosed as PTSD + Dissociative disorder AND / OR personality disorder. Usually dissociative spectrum, though the most severe of severe childhood trauma MAY have developed a personality disorder.

 

[mamachick]

I know nothing about what went on and just stumbled on this thread. After reading, I just want to send prayers to sea and Christine. I hope you get better soon sea, and Christine, you are amazing and dont forget to take care of yourself.

Anthony and the moderators do a wonderful job, and I hope you always feel good about bringing us all together.

Zipper, I know that others can make us second guess our selves and it can be discouraging at times, I have always enjoyed your posts and (not referring to you) but appreciate some diversity of opinion. I hope you are still here and active.

Lastly, clairbear, nobody can argue with a pink goose.....