A Perk To Ptsd?

[Ronin]

I don't believe PTSD is linkable to any personality trait. That it might highlight some, yes. But personality is personality and symptoms are symptoms, how they work together is a different thing.

 

[PlainJane]

The forum is a community and it is not necessarily true that dissociative disorders do not improve in isolation I had relationships with groups and peers on line for a fairly long time before I came out of isolation physically

Is that true isolation? You had communication with people and as you said developed relationships. It kind of prepared you for the physical ones maybe?

I hope I develop it. I feel like a failure because of my weak state and lack of resilience.

 

[The Albatross]

Well, you are participating on this forum Jane, is that true isolation? When presented with feelings, they can be refuted or examined. If found to be true you can, if you choose, endeavor to learn the skills/tools you lack. Feeling like a failure is optional... often times it was the old "go to" messaging I'd give myself that would keep me in my present state... but there is also a way to change thinking patterns, it takes persistence, practice, and work but it can and does happen.

 

[shimmerz]

I have been able to offer compassion and empathy to people

I have learned that this is both a blessing and a curse, as many 'traits' due to my PTSD have been. They set me apart from the normal world but empathy, in particular, imho, needs to be managed. Extend it to the wrong people and we can be right back into trauma again.

I think a large portion of this trauma thing is learning who we are and then learning what to do with who we are in a positive way. One that allows us to function in a 'normal' world in an abnormal (although lovely, kind considerate, passionate) way. Otherwise it is my opinion that we repeat traumatic incidents.

 

[PlainJane]

@The Albatross I think I may have misunderstood or misread, I think we're on the same page. :) I don't think it's isolation at all. Unfortunately we are "social creatures," we need people and support. I know healing is not possible without relationships or a support system. Otherwise what's the point? Whether it be online or physical.

@Kaia I can see that.

@shimmerz I agree. Many are the things that's blessing and a curse. I hate grey areas.

I think a large portion of this trauma thing is learning who we are and then learning what to do with who we are in a positive way

I love this! It's so huge.This really hit me, now all I have to do is apply it ;)

 

[Teasel]

I think I would pause to consider when you say, "...I've never had much in the way of positive relationships or belonging to a community and so for me it feels more like I've become very resilient to an awful isolated way of life." Never having it, does not mean it has to stay the way it is...The forum is a community...I had relationships with groups and peers on line for a fairly long time before I came out of isolation physically.

I do :) I don't think there's a thing I've thought that I haven't questioned. And being mostly a rational person I've recognised helpful truths many a time. Unfortunately I am also very regularly triggered into emotional states where I feel like a small child with no access to this extroadinarily useful rational brain...

Always made me feel like such an idiot - how could I (on an almost weekly basis) forget all the useful things I had learned?

Finding Pete Walker's site and his description of emotional flashbacks enables me to stop feeling like an idiot, forgive myself for having flashbacks over and over and re-connect with my rational brain each time I remember to read it.

Even though it probably doesn't seem like it, I am grateful for your post (yes, my buttons pushed a bit)

Reckon maybe only recently I'm realising the particular belief above is making it impossible for me to see a way out.

I do still wish though that I could say I've had any relationships, even virtual ones. I don't seem to know or be able to cope with them. I'm ashamed of this.

I think there is a bit of a relationship with forums like this, and info like Pete Walkers, and odds and sods I find in films or books that feel a little bit like they've helped me. And small bits of relationships with others - perhaps not as small as I tend to think.

I revert to how I felt as a child no matter the evidence to the contrary.

I'm very glad that you were able to come out of isolation physically - were you isolated for a long time?

 

[Teasel]

I have learned that this is both a blessing and a curse, as many 'traits' due to my PTSD have been. They set me apart from the normal world but empathy, in particular, imho, needs to be managed. Extend it to the wrong people and we can be right back into trauma again. Otherwise it is my opinion that we repeat traumatic incidents.

Ooh Ooh yes, this is something I actually have learned now. I'm not sure what the word is - I'm thinking of people talking about gaydar - as being the ability to tell who's gay - only what I'm thinking of is sort of being able to tell who it is bad to extend your empathy to. I've a finely tuned antenna to that.

Not 'cause of my having been intelligent and quickly realised what has happened rather the opposite - having worn out that particular story x

 

[shimmerz]

I don't seem to know or be able to cope with them. I'm ashamed of this.

Berlinda, prior to my PTSD rekindling, I was super social. I could talk to a brick wall and get something out of the conversation. Now? Not so much. I will have to relearn that skill and am attempting to now.

I think what I am trying to say is that the social issues are a component of PTSD, not a personality trait. Given your posts and what I know of you - if I lived by you, I would be your friend. :hug::hug:

 

[shimmerz]

But personality is personality and symptoms are symptoms, how they work together is a different thing.

I am not certain that I agree with this. Personality is molded to a great extent by external forces don't you think? This piques my interest.

 

[Teasel]

Thank you @shimmerz :) lovely to hear that x

Actually if I get past my childhood way of thinking my problems are eternal and will never end, I have lately had glimpses of getting to know some people who are a pretty good fit for me, not abusive, intelligent, wonderfully flawed and human. That's no bad eh?

Your sociablitiy shines through to me - sounds very much like you are re-learning your sociability to include these bits?

"I have learned that this is both a blessing and a curse, as many 'traits' due to my PTSD have been. They set me apart from the normal world but empathy, in particular, imho, needs to be managed. Extend it to the wrong people and we can be right back into trauma again.
I think a large portion of this trauma thing is learning who we are and then learning what to do with who we are in a positive way. One that allows us to function in a 'normal' world in an abnormal (although lovely, kind considerate, passionate) way."
xxx

 

[PlainJane]

@shimmerz and @Kaia I can see how either view can be argued. I think that genetically we are born with some dominant traits, and some personality traits that we already have set in our brain. (Hence the reason why "normal" families have within their household a variety of personalities and dispositions without having major experiences to play in on it. There are unhappy and happy babies in the same house with their own distinct traits.) Then we experience life thus reinforcing some traits while burying others. Gaining new ones loosing old ones. The external forces that bombard us each day have such a huge effect on how our personality grows and changes. It goes back to adapting to our surroundings. I know they are certain traits I have now that there is no way I would have developed without having gone through this. And the same with loosing some missed personality traits. Personalities are changeable, in my opinion. Whatever that's worth. :)

@Belinda That's a wonderful post!

 

[user27357]

My PTSD is the result of a lot of things that I really don't want to ever go through again and a lot of things I have seen happen to other people that I really don't want to happen to me.

I guess that since part of PTSD is hypervigilance, and that hypervigilance keeps me aware of dangers in this world of ours, I am better off for having it every time I avoid getting hurt or sucked into a scam of some kind. Being cynical, untrusting and hypervigilant sucks but so does getting sucked into a cult like my parents or finding out that your friends are using you and will throw you under the bus when times get tough or getting hurt or killed in traffic because you weren't as alert and aware of the dangers as you could have been.

I have saved my own life many times in traffic, and the lives of those around me too. Thats great. Being hypervigilant has it's perks. The problem is when I do have a close call, I feel like someone just pointed a shotgun at my neck. (and I do know what that feels like too). I have seen too many dead bodies to ever forget that I am a split second away from becoming one myself every time I sit in a car.

I have seen what a religious leader is capable of convincing a follower to do as part of a church. I taught my kids to always remember and never forget that the largest standing army to be issued a bible before going into battle was the third reich. If my suffering at the hands of a fundamentalist totalitarian religious cult as a kid saves them from being sucked into one, the beatings and attempted brainwashing was worth the PTSD it caused me.

When your friends drop you like a hot rock because of a diagnosis of hepatitis C and their own misinformed fears, you are better off in the long run and prepared for friends that will throw you under the bus over workplace drama or financial matters or just gossip and rumor mongering. Once you see how shallow a friendship can be, you don't get sucked into a shallow one as easily. Lack of trust leads to lack of disappointment. PTSD can be a good thing once again.

Pros: Less likely to get hurt in traffic due to hypervigilance.
Less likely to get scammed by a religious leader (or lynch a black man or invade poland or fly a jet into a building in the name of god).
Less likely to be surprised when a friend drops you flat or screws you or stabs you in the back.

Cons: almost everything else.