A Safe Word For Survivors?

[BuckarooBanzai]

Hi Everyone,

One of my female friends is a survivor of CSA and other intense childhood abuse. She has an ID bracelet, the sort one wears when playing sports and such, with her name, medical condition, etc..

There are 'badges' that can be added to the bracelet. I would like to get her a badge with a word on it - just one word - that might help her to feel safe if she is overly anxious when away from home. For instance, I have the word 'believe' on a badge on my ID; it helps me in a number of ways.

What ideas do you all have for her?

Thanks!

 

[BuckarooBanzai]

Just trying to brainstorm, here:

Friends? Safe? Peace?

 

[BuckarooBanzai]

I have an idea. She is not only a survivor but a hero; she saved her siblings lives, literally. Maybe I could get a badge that reads 'hero'?

Or would that just serve to remind her of the past and trigger her?

Ben

 

[joeylittle]

I've been thinking on this....it's a tough call. I can think of many words that in the right situation, would be helpful, and in the wrong moment, would be harmful - and that's just me thinking about me.

Is there something that the two of you have connected over? Something that would be a reminder of a good memory, or would prompt her to connect to something positive in her life, now? As opposed to an inspirational/aspirational word?

 

[Joan]

Personally just knowing it comes from a place of support I think it will have meaning. I cannot even imagine how special it would be to me to know someone supported me that much....the word would make me see that support.

 

[Bookoffee]

“Seeds of faith are always within us; sometimes it takes a crisis to nourish and encourage their growth.” - Susan Taylor

This is a quote I return too...maybe a word that will help your friend to remember.

 

[hodge]

I think you should ask her what word would comfort her. You don't have to tell her you're getting her a tag for her bracelet. You could just raise the question in the context of sharing a common grounding skill -- what word do you say to yourself to help yourself ground?

Good luck :-)

 

[EveHarrington]

I advise asking her too.

Typical "support" words can be very cliche and the wrong word may not help her at all. Nobody would ever guess my grounding word as its not a word that is on any of that kind of jewelry-----but it is very much a term in the therapeutic world.

 

[BuckarooBanzai]

I appreciate everyone's input. You've all brought up good points.

In the end, I decided not to use a word out of concern that it might be triggering. Instead, I ordered a copy of my badge; it has a symbol that is meaningful to both of us, independent of our childhood traumas. So, then, the hope is she will see it when out and anxious, and think of her connection to me, a safe person.

 

[Joan]

This seems that it really comes from your heart and I think that is what really matters. You seem like an amazing friend. I would love it if someone cared this much for me!

 

[hodge]

Great idea, BB! I cherish my dad's firefighter badge. :-)