A strange kind of guilt

[Casey_03]

Does anyone else feel an overwhelming sense of guilt for relaxing? I work five days a week and on my spare days off try to be productive in certain ways - study Arabic, get some writing done, etc. I don't always manage to be as productive as I'd like to, and when that happens, I am overcome with guilt .... which, objectively, I realize is a bit strange. Cognitively, I realize that I'm not doing anything wrong by taking the opportunity to relax and watch movies. In fact, many people I know devote days off to relaxation, not fulfilling quotas of projects to be done. So why can't I escape this sense of guilt when relaxing? Does anyone else experience this? I can't even sit through a movie without feeling like I deserve to be punished or scolded for not doing something else ...

 

[Deleted member 28403]

Yes, if I'm not working, I get into bad thoughts, including guilt.

Doesn't help that I'm often scared with failure if I don't work always

 

[Fadeaway]

You are pregnant, your job right now IS to relax. You are doing your duty as a mom to be. Not sure if that perspective is helpful, but yeah I get the guilt.

 

[Deleted member 28403]

@Fadeaway
Wow, yea, especially in pregnancy, it's important to relax. Stress can do a loooot of harm

@Casey_03
You need to relax, and there is no reason for you to feel guilt about that :hug:

 

[Friday]

Part of that is probably PTSD avoidance stuff. But I'm betting you're 3rd trimester now? Cause that's when "nesting" kicks in, in a major way. It's as bad, if not worse, than food cravings. The urge to be doing-doing-doing, and the sense of doom that settles in if you're not.

 

[Fadeaway]

I forgot about nesting! Oh gawd, how could I have forgotten? I am going to vote on it being way worse than food cravings.

 

[shimmerz]

Idk, for me I 'do things' to avoid the ruminations. Perhaps the guilt came first..... and the working just covers it ....

 

[Deleted member 28403]

@shimmerz
I am quite sure the working is the thing to cover it. Same is with me :hug:

 

[shimmerz]

So does that mean that working or not, the guilt is still there? Just wondering if the 'work' matters at all or if it was tied together at one point in our heads as 'blessed relief' from the guilt, when really it isn't relief. Idk

 

[Deleted member 28403]

I see it more as a delay from feelings.

I work and the bad thoughts dont hit me, but later, when I stop, I am overwhelmed

 

[Casey_03]

@FridayJones Yeah, I think at least part of me must be nesting. I've always been like this (even before pregnancy) but it's definitely much worse now than it used to be ... and weirdly, I'm not cleaning or cooking like a lunatic, I'm doing weird things like learning Arabic. I guess there is a sort of panic I feel about needing to find a better paying job ...

 

[Deleted member 12723]

A long time ago I used to feel guilty about everything so out of balance. Now I only get it occassionally. I think that you are exactly where you need to be and screw guilt.