Dissociation is a form of self abandonment? Because we leave ourselves. We're not there advocating our bodies. We're gone. In a form of protection, but it leaves us vulnerable and we're unable to communicate our needs. Hense abandoning ourselves.. My go to is dissociation, so there is that. I may even go as far as shielding myself entirely from things, but is that what she even means?
I think you have it sussed here.Maybe that’s part of the abandoning my “self” part.
It's totally understandable. If it was scary to express yourself previously as that resulted in XYZ, then the safest thing is to abandon your needs, switch off, dissociate, going into alters. So survival. But not helpful in learning to be 'you' and understanding what you need as an independent person.
So maybe it's working through this fear that you project onto your T to find the way to express yourself, your needs and your feelings. As that fear, T is suggesting(?) is from the past and not from today?
Sounds like your exploration of this is going to be really healing?