Thank you for this. I resigned from the job but they still coming after with made up allegations. I feel like i am not there for my wife and kids because I am always so miserable.I was stuck in a major depressive episode for several years, and it's still one of those these things I have to manage.
In those moments that you're happy? Notice them. They're a big deal. They're your brain telling you happiness is still possible. Which is huge. It's the reason to fight. So fight. You got this.
Depression is becoming one of those diseases that is increasingly treatable.
I found working with psychologists particularly helpful for my depression (not do much for my ptsd...which is one of the reasons for the awkward questions you copped above). They're problem-solvers, and skills-teachers. Practical stuff that helps me behave my way out of depressive episodes even when motivation is non-existent.
If you're working in a toxic workplace that has caused you ptsd? (Not sure if that's what you're saying?). Seperate issue. Is your T helping you find a new workplace to get away from the cause of your trauma?