Sexual Assault About the #metoo hashtag

[Sideways]

@Muttly - that makes me really sad. If there’s one point to the whole hashtag thing, surely it’s to try and shake off some of the shame? Idk.

The shame is huge, and complex, and it won’t be solved by a momentary hashtag fad. But if the fad has helped some people find some small voice of their own, that must be a good thing.

There is a kind of despair that sets in, though, when I realise, “My shame is too big to join these people...”. But I can still be happy for the people this seems to have helped. Even if it’s just for one day, however brief, having a voice even momentarily is a wonderful thing and I want to be happy for them. Even if I can’t join them.

 

[Leisel]

I posted at first but then I started to panic and deleted it a few hours later. When I got home at night I totally panicked and felt suicidal. I'm glad people are sharing their stories and I'm glad they don't know the level of mine but at the same time I feel like the metoo hashtag has a lot of people who can't relate to me and I feel like I don't belong either.
People on my fb feed didn't share graphic stories (most didn't share stories at all) so it didn't trigger me to read them; I felt less alone at first. But when I realized many of them still would never understand..I felt so much more alone. Not that I would ever wish this on anyone. I wouldn't. But this trend or whatever just left me feeling like half of myself.

 

[Leisel]

I'm glad I came on here. At least we have each other

 

[Deleted member 44529]

Both. I don't know if I'll stay. Especially since I can't post links.

 

[sassyannie54]

@SumOneSomeWhere I saw the YouOKsis hashtag but didn't pursue it. I'm not okay with...

I just want to briefly tell you about my me too. I'm sitting in my bedroom, my safe room. My 90 year old step father is getting ready for his bible study and I've been crying off and on all day. My mother is dead, I hate her. She knew. He doesn't want to know, he's actually said it in the past. I wrote me too on facebook, it's what was right for me but isn't for everyone. My biggest fear is that my son will see it. at 25 does he still need to be protected from his knowing his mother's trauma? Does he need to know or do I need to tell him. He's gay, in Idaho. Not a big gay population there and I fear for him everyday.
This web site is intense. I go for months without being on. When I feel good I avoid intentional triggers but when I feel bad it's still here, up and running. For the most part my ptsd is from other nonsexual assault trauma. I think this has been a huge trigger for many people of all ages and sexualities. I cry for me and for all of the rest of us that are hurting so much. This is such a disgusting hideous and awful trigger.
I don't know if this is an appropriate response for you. I'm sure the moderators know. But I'm so sorry for you and for all those in your life that have been affected by your pain.

 

[NightSky]

I came here looking to see if a conversation had been started about the hashtag. I think I love what it stands for because I’m reading comments and seeing a lot of support. I haven’t assumed it’s just for cat calls and harassment as I’ve seen some posts about childhood abuse as well. In theory it should make me feel less alone. But I cannot imagine posting that, since my family and most of my friends have no idea and would ask questions. I envy those who can be so open. What confused me, was seeing people post it and then go on an hour later to post other things, like pictures of their dinner. I imagine if I posted that, I would be taking a very long time to recover and when I feel triggered I can’t do small talk type things. Then I wonder what’s wrong with me that it’s so hard. So many mixed emotions. But primarily I feel alone and sad and frustrated that I can’t be that open. Sorry if this is super rambling.

 

[Chitoshi]

I came here looking to see if a conversation had been started about the hashtag. I think I love what i...

I agree so much. Maybe I was upset because I can't feel open. It still upsets me somewhat, and I understand it a bit more now, I just wasn't prepared for it. I see how it's meant now and people are trying to be supportive about it. I still haven't shared publicly and I won't.

 

[BabsBabs]

I was just going to post a thread about this then saw this one! I saw today my cousin posted it. I'm...

Had the same feeling, when I saw a dear friend of mine posting the #metoo. Strangely I cannot bring up the strength to do the same. I feel uncomfortable that all people I added as friend know I was sexually assaulted...part of me would really like to have the strength.

 

[Deleted member 44517]

I am upset by this too.
I feel like rape is being put on the same level as harassment. At the same time, Im seeing a whole slew of friends and family post me too and it depressing the crap out of me. It's overwhelming and not empowering for me. I haven't and I won't post it. I've tried so hard to leave shit behind me. I don't want to celebrate belonging to the same wretched sorority. I also feel like male victims are being left out. I know that Hollywood has probably covered up their abuse even more.

I support anyone whose sexuality and personhood has been harmed through abuse. I already knew it was pervasive. I don't need it in my face.

 

[Deleted member 44529]

I am astounded at some of the responses here. This is not a place where I feel I can voice much. At all.

And I just found out I can't delete my account. Thanks for that lack of agency.

 

[joeylittle]

And I just found out I can't delete my account. Thanks for that lack of agency.

Read the terms before you join; that's a good way to avoid committing to things that you do not want to commit to.

The ab ility to post links comes along with length of membership and overall posting activity. It's a sound policy, it keeps us from being spammed by people who join to promote their own agenda - as you appear to be doing. Banned.

 

[Deleted member 37474]

I spoke about #metoo in therapy yesterday. T immediately knew how I felt. It was added to my increasing list of triggers to avoid. She said that being in the middle of trauma therapy is not the best time to hear story after story. Statistically, when I first remembered the rape I couldn't understand why I didn't have any friends who had a similar experience. Where were the 1 in 4? Well, turns out I do know people. Metoo revealed that to me. I guess the shame and desire not to explain this to anyone has kept me silent, like many of you on this thread. My husband brought up the campaign this morning. I told him that I can't post it. He seemed confused, but asked if I feel at least validated that the world is taking notice? I said, "I guess so?"