Absurd Ptsd about favourite hobby (coding)

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User5558

And maybe i will not call it a trigger from now on but a stress response for exmaple
 

Teasel

MyPTSD Pro
You're right when you say you feel worse when you don't code. Facing the things that make us anxious in small, safe, manageable ways are a good way to reduce anxiety over something like this :)
 

joeylittle

Administrator
And maybe i will not call it a trigger from now on but a stress response for exmaple
It makes more sense. We talk about the differences between stressors and triggers on this site a fair amount. You don't need to recall the memory in order to have an automatic response - and an automatic response doesn't necessarily equate to a trigger.

But - this is also just to say, your response is yours and real whether it's called PTSD or not - and you deserve help for it. I hope you can get some time with a therapist, eventually.
 
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User5558

I just remembered that last year i asked on scratch foruns was this a big deal and they all said no. If i just had asked that back then when it first happened this would have never happened
 
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User5558

It's just that a stupid little event from 5 years ago had and has effected me and my hobby so much over the years i still can't believe that. I can just imagine what life is like if that never happened
 

Friday

Moderator
. I can just imagine what life is like if that never happened
What IF? Isn’t a real place. So it’s usually better to not try and go there.

What IF my son hadn’t gotten sick? He’d have been an Olympic hopeful, leading a charmed life (for at least a few years, if all went as expected) instead of the hell his life became in & out hospitals / custody battles / etc. <<< Now, I can’t speak beyond that. We were being courted by 2 different teams, so guaranteed we’d have chosen 1. But? Maybe he’d have gone onto the Olympics. Maybe he’d have broken his leg, or his neck, the first week out. Maybe the summer break sailing in the Caribbean would have claimed his heart, and he’d have given up snowboarding. Maybe he’d have knocked some chick up. Maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe. What didn’t happen? Has THOUSANDS of possibilities. Not just the one we imagine.

What IF I hadn’t divorced my husband?

What IF I had stayed in school?

None of these are trauma-events. Just normal life stuff. Doing normal life things. Having PROFOUND effect.

The only use “what IF” has ever brought me? The knowledge of where I MIGHT like to take my life. Or not. But getting sucked into fantasy-land? As if I had GodMode activated? Does no good. It’s Dreamtime. Not reality.

If you want to get back into coding? Get back into coding. If you’re hitting stumbling blocks? Panic attacks, intrusive thoughts, obsessions, etc.? A therapist can probably help with that... if “only” to refer you onto a therapist better equipped to help you with that. Regardless of what -if any- diagnosis is needed. Someone to help you get to where you want to be? Is priceless. Whatever their title. Or what’s holding you back.
 
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User5558

Yeah i have talked to the counselor

Well... I just had to post something after abad day didn't i
 

JadeB.

MyPTSD Pro
Well... I just had to post something after abad day didn't i
Actually, no you didn't have to.

This is a PTSD forum and what you describe is not PTSD.

I'm sorry to sound harsh but I am struggling right now and I just read this whole thread about....coding. It's no different than someone going on a cancer support forum complaining about a cold or a pimple. It's insensitive.

And maybe I'm being insensitive right now but I wish my problem was about coding and not memories of being molested.
 

joeylittle

Administrator
Yeah i have talked to the counselor
Good!
Well... I just had to post something after abad day didn't i
You'll probably find better support in a forum that deals with a broader set of illnesses. We are a peer-support PTSD forum, as @JadeB rightly points out.

I wish you the best, and am going to lock this thread, now. If you have any questions, feel free to ask them via Contact Us.
 
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