. I can just imagine what life is like if that never happened
What IF? Isn’t a real place. So it’s usually better to not try and go there.
What IF my son hadn’t gotten sick? He’d have been an Olympic hopeful, leading a charmed life (for at least a few years, if all went as expected) instead of the hell his life became in & out hospitals / custody battles / etc. <<< Now, I can’t speak beyond that. We were being courted by 2 different teams, so guaranteed we’d have chosen 1. But? Maybe he’d have gone onto the Olympics. Maybe he’d have broken his leg, or his neck, the first week out. Maybe the summer break sailing in the Caribbean would have claimed his heart, and he’d have given up snowboarding. Maybe he’d have knocked some chick up. Maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe. What didn’t happen? Has THOUSANDS of possibilities. Not just the one we imagine.
What IF I hadn’t divorced my husband?
What IF I had stayed in school?
None of these are trauma-events. Just normal life stuff. Doing normal life things. Having PROFOUND effect.
The only use “what IF” has ever brought me? The knowledge of where I MIGHT like to take my life. Or not. But getting sucked into fantasy-land? As if I had GodMode activated? Does no good. It’s Dreamtime. Not reality.
If you want to get back into coding? Get back into coding. If you’re hitting stumbling blocks? Panic attacks, intrusive thoughts, obsessions, etc.? A therapist can probably help with that... if “only” to refer you onto a therapist better equipped to help you with that. Regardless of what -if any- diagnosis is needed. Someone to help you get to where you want to be? Is priceless. Whatever their title. Or what’s holding you back.
