Sufferer Abused. A Few Times.

[i ama crime scene]

I am not fond of putting all of this out there so soon. I find it hard to belive that people would want to help me.

But. I was in an abusive relationship for two years. Got taken advantage of before that then raped very recently which brought on the more severe symptoms and unlocked a lot of things I'd put away from the previous relationship. Then a great friend accused me of raping him after he threw a fit because he couldn't control me. Then my best friend touched me while he thought I was sleeping.

Everyone sees me as a victim, someone easy to use. I've run through every negative coping mechanism in the book and I got healthy a couple weeks ago but that's all gone now. No more trying to work out and feel good and feel secure being feminine. Now I'm back to wanting to change genders or use my femininity to manipulate for attention. I've lost all the gained ground I had. The alcohol use is easily manageable and not maladaptive. Just trying to stay away from self harm for now.

I'm supposed to be the one helping people. I do not like asking for help.

 

[Toria]

Hello I ama Crime Scene and welcome to the Forum. I am so sorry to read all that has happened to you. I hope that you will find the Forum a place of safety and a place where there are others that have suffered as you have. We are all incredibly supportive - especially when it comes to encouraging healthy lifestyles and habits.

It was very brave of you to introduce yourself as you did if you are not fond of doing that - but there are people on here who will be more than happy to help you.

 

[i ama crime scene]

Cheers. The community seems great, thanks for helping moderate it for people who need it.

 

[intothelight]

Hi I ama crime scene,

Welcome to the PTSD Forum! :)

This site is a great place for information and the support here is amazing as you work on healing. There are a lot of posts about coping tools and there is a sister website that you may find helpful: MySexAbuse.org.

Wishing you the best.

Debbie

 

[safenow]

Hello, I ama crime scene.

There have been times in my life when I have felt like your name. I'm sorry you are suffering so. I know that you will find some good information here, that can help. You will also find very caring, supportive people here.

It's nice to meet you.

 

[i ama crime scene]

Great, thank you guys. Looking forward to exploring and making some connections I guess.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

Welcome to the forum. :)

 

[Abstract]

Welcome here and well done for being brave and sharing.

I'm supposed to be the one helping people. I do not like asking for help.

I don't think anyone is on earth to only give and not receive. It is very healthy to both receive and give and its OK and right that you ask for and receive help. I wish you healing.

 

[winterose]

I'm supposed to be the one helping people. I do not like asking for help.

Oh my, I know that one because of my work with Domestic Violence and such. When I bottomed out I felt alot of what you do. Welcome. There is alot of support here. Alot of people work hard to create a safe place here. To admit there is even a problem is brave and the first steps on getting well. Stay Strong. :)

 

[Tribulations]

I ama crime scene I can relate to being the rock and not the one to lean. I'm sorry you've gone through that and feel the way you do. All I can assure you of, is this place is safe from one newbie to another. It's a hard path but at least here people understand, aren't judgemental, and actually care.

 

[KP the nut]

Hi and welcome to the forum.