Relationship Abusing Alcohol.........

[Sunflower69]

She uses alcohol to drive away flashbacks and get sleep. She hasn't been properly diagnosed but from what she has told me that happened to her before we started seeing eachother and the nightmares she has had I'm guessing this is what she has. She won't even think about seeing a therapist because I think something illegal happened and she's scared what will happen to her. The copious amounts of alcohol is taking a huge toll on her health and everyone around her. I have been told she has changed ever since I came on the scene, the best thing to happen to her and I love her so so much
I just don't know what to do.......

 

[Rose White]

I recommend Al-Anon. To be in company with people that get it is a special kind of relief.

 

[Movingforward10]

It feels an easy thing to do: block it out with drink and knock yourself out. And addressing it all can be overwhelming. Even though it's obvious to you and others that having healthier ways of coping will make life easier for her, and those that love her.

Therapy is a very brutal process (I would drink after sessions because it was so hard), and it can make things worse before it gets better.

Does she want to stop drinking?
Does she want to address what happened to her?

 

[Sunflower69]

It feels an easy thing to do: block it out with drink and knock yourself out. And addressing it all can be overwhelming. Even though it's obvious to you and others that having healthier ways of coping will make life easier for her, and those that love her.

Therapy is a very brutal process (I would drink after sessions because it was so hard), and it can make things worse before it gets better.

Does she want to stop drinking?
Does she want to address what happened to her?

No she doesn't want to stop drinking nor address what happened to her
She just clams up and sweeps it under the rug if I try get her to talk about it

I recommend Al-Anon. To be in company with people that get it is a special kind of relief.

She would never go to an AA meeting, too much pride

 

[Rose White]

@Sunflower69 Al-Anon is for you. It’s for family members and loved ones of people who have a disordered relationship with alcohol. Being able to talk about it with others who get it can be a release valve for your frustration and validation for your feelings.

 

[nursenurse]

She is the only one that can fix herself. You cannot rescue someone who does not want to be rescued. Sometimes folks have to hit absolute rock bottom before they pull themselves up out of the mess. My knee jerk reaction is to tell you to get out. For now, at least look after yourself. Check out AlAnon if there is a chapter where you live, for friends and families of alcoholics. It isn’t for her. Is she really the best thing that happened to you? The big elephant in the room is the alcohol abuse. No diagnosis, no treatment…….and her unwillingness to seek help for whatever reason. Do not feel pressured to stay in a relationship that is toxic from the beginning, no matter what anyone else says. The question is not whether she is better with you than without, the question is are you better with her than without. If you elect to stay, then form some good boundaries for yourself, and enforce them.