Abusing My Dog

[Eleanor]

Whilst writing this response I am simultaneoudly dancing to Frank Sinatra with [DLMURL="https://www.myptsd.com/c/members/23644/"]@Ed Norton[/DLMURL] on the chat room disco dancing floor. We can passionately disagree and still be courteous to others.

This gives me hope. It made my morning. You guys are the best.

 

[Eleanor]

o
Ok this is probably slightly inappropriate here, but it was the most cool thing I could think of and @Ms.Spock and @Ed Norton are approaching this level of cool in my book.:tup::tup::tup: Passionate disagreement and dancing together. Awesome. Thanks for the opportunity Frank!

 

[Eleanor]

. Personal responsibility irrespective of mental/emotional pain is one of the hardest things to learn.

Like any maladaptive coping mechanism, every single time it is used it is reinforced. Habits become behavior, and the habit of acting out abusively to an animal is a big red flag.

Bingo. I would only add: that there are two important senses of responsibility and it is important (at least to me) to distinguish between them.

The most basic is response-ability. Humans start out with very rigid responses to stimuli - governed by good survival rules. The job of development is to increase our response-ability. Situations of abuse are BAD for people because they REDUCE response-ability. And it is a hell of a lot of difficult and time consuming work to build that capacity later.

The other sense is responsibility in the accountability sense. It is ALOT more complicated. I am responsible for the consequences of my actions. That means I can recognize, acknowledge, and evaluate the consequences of my actions relative to my exiting intentions and my fixed standards (moral commitments.) THEN if the consequences of my actions are not acceptable (don't square with my intentions or standards) I can formulate an intention about what to do about the consequences and how to have a better effect in the future. If the consequences are in line with my intentions and standards I can form an intention to keep on in that vein. The more splintered we are, the harder this is.

When we hold OTHER people responsible - it can mean a lot of things some of which are not very helpful. Blame, punishment, resentment are not often helpful, if ever. The point must be to encourage the development of their response-ablity and to address the harms their actions may cause or have caused.

I hope @Yutahji comes back, and reads thru this - and .... sees how it is possible to address these issues. And how much hope working with other people (and holding it together in the face of difficult messages) can yield. This is extremely difficult stuff for all of us. EXTREMELY. And we all get better when we work on it together with compassion and honesty. Everybody who comes here has sharp edges. We may have inadvertently externalized precisely the war that is raging within her. And pointed the way to a healthy peace. I can hope at least....

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Lets be honest here. @Ms Spock is p!ssed at me because of sh!t that went down on the forum YEARS ago and now she feels the need to call me out on it. Uhm, lets be real. I'm not the one who is commenting on EACH and EVERY one of the replies here on this thread and either giving it my "seal of approval" or putting the person who replied to shame. Uhm, I'd say that Spock has a very real control problem and its evident that she feels the need to exert control here on the forum because this is her pattern here.....just about every thread she replies to she replies to each and every person who already replied in order to agree or disagree.....again, an attempt to exert control. I put my not so popular opinion out there and now she wants to knock me down a peg or two. The thing is, she can't. Neither can Ghosty with her comments about why am I here on the forum, meaning that I should leave. Stop trying to control everyone else, OK? I haven't tried to control ANYONE, I am merely putting my opinion out there. Slam me if you must, I really don't care. Funny how everyone who "liked" your SLAM post of me I already have on ignore..... So, I invite you to continue your petty little games, keep on trying to bring me down, do whatever you feel that you need to, because you can't bring me down, not now, nor ever. Funny how you pick and choose who you like to make nice with. I'm on your sh!t list so you continue to pick on me while making nice with others who have disagreed with you in this thread. All I have to say to you is "grow up". Peace out and have a nice life!

 

[Ghostybear73]

@Solara, I love the fact that you are on this forum because even though we may not agree on everything, we do agree on a lot of things, like animal abuse. I respect your opinions and your feelings.

I am truly sorry you feel that I am trying to control you and others.

ghosty :hug: (those are rare, I hope you can feel its significance)

 

[Ed Norton]

I stand by what I said. This woman should never own another animal. As it's not worth the chance of recidivism.I don't care how much therapy she had. It IS tantamount to allowing a pedophile to work near children, absolutely unacceptable. Yes the right thing to do is to give the dog to someone who would care for her.

Regarding psychiatrists, most of them were bottom of the barrel medical students who barely passed the USMLE and could only get psychiatry as a residency. I've only met one who is good. The majority of psychiatrists I've met are Muppets.

 

[ms spock]

Lets be honest here.

I feel frustrated that I can't communicate clearly enough that I am understood by you. I did try my best.

that went down on the forum YEARS ago

We did try to be friends and it didn't work out, but that doesn't mean I can't see how awesome you are in so many ways. You often bravely ask the difficult and hard questions.

commenting on EACH and EVERY one of the replies here on this thread and either giving it my "seal of approval" or putting the person who replied to shame.

There were a couple of posts I didn't respond to, but I did respond to the majority of them, that is true. I see what I am doing differently. I am trying to really flesh out some issues and model best practice in terms of vibrant dialogue and debate. If we don't discuss things, then they can't change. Shaming someone for something that they know they are doing is wrong doesn't help the dog or the person. They are my ideas and thoughts. It actually took a lot of time and thought to be so active in this thread. It comes from that idea of a community of scholars at university. How important it is to engage with everyone and include everyone.

Uhm, I'd say that Spock has a very real control problem and its evident that she feels the need to exert control here on the forum because this is her pattern here.....just about every thread she replies to she replies to each and every person who already replied in order to agree or disagree.....again, an attempt to exert control.

I can understand you could see it that way if you didn't understand my intent, or the fact I never got to ask questions, seek clarifications or put forth my ideas as a child. I am practicing stuff that a lot of children get a grasp on when they were quite young. I also think that modelling to people ways of disagreeing and arguing is an important thing to do. I think practicing disagreeing with people in the best way you can, is an important exercise for me.

I am merely putting my opinion out there.

As I said previously, you are a gutsy woman with so much to offer. Many of your opinions are nuanced and delve into important depths. Your comments on female child rapists are important for everyone to read, not just people on this forum, but the general public. I am sure that as time goes on you will put your considerable mind power to good use for the communities you move within.

I would like to make nice with you, but unfortunately I seem to lack the skills to do so.

I think the original poster was brave to talk about abusing her dog. That she did so indicated she knew it was wrong. Perhaps we all want for the dog to be safe and okay and unharmed but we have divergent ways of seeing how this can/would be so. We also have different ways of seeing how the journey looks for that to happen.

I think keeping the original poster safe as well is important as well, as if she is safe, then there is a flow on effect to her dog.

I guess it is different horses for different courses.

 

[Chava]

Has @Yutahji been back? How are things going? You and dog safe????

 

[The Albatross]

Not since Sunday at 8:22 pm.

 

[CaseysMom]

No matter what your problem is, abusing your dog is against the law, and abusive, like beating a child. You are causing pain to an innocent being, that unlike you, has no voice, and can't run away. Call a rescue group and surrender your dog and allow it a chance at a good life with a loving family that won't harm her. Using your disorder as an excuse to beat your pet, or child, is just that, an excuse, and is not tolerated, or forgiven, in the eyes of the law, or scially. GIVE UP YOUR DOG TODAY!

 

[HëllaBubz]

So I've been off the forum for 6 odd months, and I come back to find Spock swinging a righteous and well justified cast iron bat.

By the 6th comment I'd stopped laughing and went for the popcorn.

OP, hope you read this. There is help, and honestly the diagnosis doesn't change the symptoms.

Address your symptoms, because you can't change WHY you're like this, but you can change if you STAY like this.

There is power to be had, grasp it my dear.

And ciao everyone else!