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Dom Violence Abusive Boyfriend Says I'm Always Arguing Even When He Starts The Arguments...

  • Post starter Post starter Sophia90
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Sophia90

For the past two nights, my boyfriend kept me up all night so we can "argue". But when we argue, it is 90% of him talking and me listening while he complains about all of my wrongdoings. He tells me that I'm fat and obese, even though I'm considered skinny, just not 90 lbs. That I'm retarded even though I graduated with cum laude with a BA from a top university. He tells me that I am the cause of his early aging even though I haven't done anything. And he goes on all night while I sit there just listening. If I talk, it's only to tell him calmly that he needs to relax, which angers him more. I know he wants to get a response from me. And then he tells me to apologize for arguing with him. He says that it's my fault because if I change myself then he would no longer have a reason to argue with me. However, I know that even if I change myself, he would still find a reason to argue, either by saying I'm not skinny enough or I'm stupid. But, I really don't understand how if I'm not engaging in the discussion, it can even be considered an argument. Also, I don't understand how this is all my fault if he chooses to talk down on me.
 
My abusive boyfriend says...
My abusive husband says...
My abusive girlfriend says...
My abusive wife says...


The only word that really needs to be argued with in the above is "My". As in nope! Not claiming that shit as mine. Regardless of whether they're dressing me down, or saying the sun will rise in the morning. I DGAF what comes after "says".

If it helps run it through a filter of non-voluntary relationship; My rapist says, my torturer says, my kidnapper says, my mugger says, etc.

Once someone becomes abusive? It doesn't matter what the f*ck they say. What matters is kicking them to the curb. As swiftly & safely as possible. Whatever they're saying? Is just noise.
 
I guess if you're into abuse, then you'll stay. If you're not into abuse, then you should leave! He doesn't love you, he doesn't even like you. If he did, then the phrases he says, would go more like this.... "Honey, you're beautiful, I love the way you look, you rock my world."
 
Why are you with this guy?
I absolutely hate this question.
If people must ask something, turn the question onto HIM: "Why does he act like such a jerk?"

The reasons why she chooses to stay are many, and it is nobody elses business.


To the OP, Sophia91, this crazymaking is a common tactic used by people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. You may benefit from reading about it.
This thread provides a great link:
"how To Deal With A Narcissist"
 
I absolutely hate this question.
If people must ask something, turn the question onto HIM: "Why does...

Why this is underlining I have no idea but...

I ask because she seems to know this is a huge problem. She also knows hes abusing her. There is no way to make an abuser stop. We all know that.
 
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One thing I will say was that when my husband was in the throws of his porn addiction I was never good enough for him. He would let me know, too. I was " too soft. Too hard. Too masculine. Too this. Too that ".

Just something to think about.
 
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