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I got out of the house today and ran errands. I could have avoided it with the terrible weather that we have had, but I forced myself to do some shoveling, defrost my car and muscle it out of the driveway (thank goodness for 4WD). We now have groceries again, I have my meds for over the holidays and the kitten has purple claw covers. I actually felt better when I got home than I had before I left.
 
Today I reached out to my therapist and assertively (not aggressively or indirectly) asked for what I wanted, and got it. I also listened to some comforting songs, put on a soft pashmina I got for Christmas, and made myself some tea, all to calm me down as I dealt with being triggered about unwanted touch when I was younger. I think I'm doing well, I hope so. Am going to work on the deep stuff in my Monday session, I hope.
 
Thanks so much. Today, I'm going to do the same things again- it's going to be a hard day I think, had a serious talk w/my husband this morning. So.... I'm going to make some good tea, wrap up in a sweater, listen to some comforting music...

Not sure what else to do, am freaking out about this rupture w/hubby, sigh, what I *want* is to be alone and sleep, but that doesn't always work well in a family.

Anyhow.... the PTSD symptom getting me most now is probably fear, the fear response, am feeling frozen, so... best cure for that is to make myself feel safe, I guess I'll do that by just reminding myself I am. I'm a grown woman, powerful and reasonable, and I feel scared about this tension in my marriage, but I'll be ok. Better than ok, probably.
 
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