Acting Or Emotional Numbing?

[Casey_03]

Every time I start to get close to someone, if I experience emotions of any kind or open up, immediately afterwards I feel numb and as if I were just "acting." Does anyone else get this? The emotional part is fleeting and short - I may allow myself to cry in front of a person, but then immediately after I feel nothing. And that lasts for a while. I feel like I was just following social cues and "acting" somehow to make this person feel as if I opened up to them. (I may feel this way because I have repeatedly been told I am extremely manipulative. Hearing that made me question my own sincerity in all things emotional). Is this "acting" to manipulate in someway or emotional numbing? I suspect I know the answer but am curious to know about everyone else's experiences with this sort of thing.

 

[feelgoodinc.]

I understand what you mean in regards to sincerity. I have had similar thoughts in my new relationship. Questioning my own sincerity after being affectionate. Feeling guilty for not feeling as close to him as I want to. In my case I think it is to do with not wanting to allow myself to be in a position where I can be hurt again. Not allowing myself to be close to someone again because they will just use and abuse me. I think the fact you are aware is a very good thing and proof you are not manipulating them.

I hope this helps in some way.