t’s like going to a physical therapist after getting reconstructive surgery. Where it will HURT, and be exhausting, and there is a helluva lot of work involved. And sweat/blood/tears IF you do the work to get better. And then you do. But it will get worse first. And it will be exhausting during.
@Friday beat me too it because I was going to use the same anology. I copied it because I want you to read it again. Yep - it's that important.
My supporters can't fix me, they can't do the work for me, they can't stop the pain. All they can do is try to be patient and watch. Trying to "fix" her by figuring out what kind of support she needs is going to end up with just chasing your tail. I know you want to make it better for her - but you can't.
Healing sucks and it can take a long, long time. Think in terms of years, not months. She has to learn which coping skills work for her - and then use them. You can't do this for her
She said she needs to feel safe.
Ya - this isn't going to happen for a long while
Not trying to be unsympathetic but -- ptsd means you don't feel safe. Ever.
I still, after 5 years of therapy, believe someone is standing outside every door waiting to shoot me
That thought will never go away
What changes is that I can understand it's not a true version of my world today, and when it pops up I can use my coping skills to figure out a better way to address it.
But safety?
nope. No one can bring that to me. I have to learn how to achieve it myself.
