NovaSuper
Policy Enforcement
Hi guys, new here and found the forum while seaching online for advice. I'm 6 weeks into CBT and i've got a few questions, i'll ask my T next time we meet, but it'll bug me having to wait a week! Hopefully you lovely peeps can help out. Sorry if these things have been asked before, i'm off loading.
1- Feeling super unwell after a session. So mentally things always flare up after a session, but as therapy is getting more trauma focused i'm finding i'm physically ill for a day or two after. Headache, feeling sick, dizzy, no appetite. Any tips on getting through that or making it less in my face?
2- We tried yesterday to move forward with an excersise, i have to close my eyes and put myself back into the memory and describe it in the 1st person. We've tried it a few times and when i close my eyes and start to picture the memory i completely panic, open my eyes and melt down. Yesterday i managed to picture the memory and allow it to play like a video (best i've done yet, so we're obviously moving forward a little). However when it comes to talking about what i see and what happened, i can't, it's like words just don't exsist. The memory becomes so imersive, i can feel and smell the memory, to the point where i get muscles tensing and spasming like they did during the event. My T was fab, kept letting me know he was still with me, offering prompts ( have written the memory down as best as i can, so he does have some pointers to work with). My T sounded really far away but i could still hear him. Is it normal for this excersise to be so immersive and to feel so far away from my T when i'm actually only feet away from him? Why do words escape me in those moments? IT almost feels like there isn't enough brain power to find words, never mind put them together.
3- After what's written above and i opened my eyes after the excersise my T asked if i was with him and how i felt, i said i was with him and felt dizzy and confused but okay. The conversation moved on slightly and he stopped and said he didn't feel like i was completely in the room and went on to do some grounding with me, things we've done during panic attacks like naming things around the room and so on. We continued the session and he kept checking if i was in the room. It was like while we were talking i wasn't really thinking about how i answered and though i was in the room, in my minds eye all i could see was the memory, it was sort of like switching between the 2, like trying to watch tv while playing on your phone. I couldn't help but feel distracted. What was happening and why?
4- I was raised in a home where crying or showing pain wasn't allowed, my parents were fans of violence and any tears or showing of pain would be met with, lets just say a less than nurturing response. When i start to get upset in my sessions or i feel like i'm bubbling i just shut down. It's like closing the tab on the emotion. My T is aware of this, and we have spent time ''pausing'' in a feeling. I've been asked to describe the feeling, to allow the anxiety to be there in a safe space, but i still can't fully open up. I know that i'm in a safe space and nothing bad will happen if i open up and let go of the hold on my emotions, but i can't do it. Any tips on becoming more comfortable with that and allowing the feelings to show?
Sorry for rambling guys,
Thank you
1- Feeling super unwell after a session. So mentally things always flare up after a session, but as therapy is getting more trauma focused i'm finding i'm physically ill for a day or two after. Headache, feeling sick, dizzy, no appetite. Any tips on getting through that or making it less in my face?
2- We tried yesterday to move forward with an excersise, i have to close my eyes and put myself back into the memory and describe it in the 1st person. We've tried it a few times and when i close my eyes and start to picture the memory i completely panic, open my eyes and melt down. Yesterday i managed to picture the memory and allow it to play like a video (best i've done yet, so we're obviously moving forward a little). However when it comes to talking about what i see and what happened, i can't, it's like words just don't exsist. The memory becomes so imersive, i can feel and smell the memory, to the point where i get muscles tensing and spasming like they did during the event. My T was fab, kept letting me know he was still with me, offering prompts ( have written the memory down as best as i can, so he does have some pointers to work with). My T sounded really far away but i could still hear him. Is it normal for this excersise to be so immersive and to feel so far away from my T when i'm actually only feet away from him? Why do words escape me in those moments? IT almost feels like there isn't enough brain power to find words, never mind put them together.
3- After what's written above and i opened my eyes after the excersise my T asked if i was with him and how i felt, i said i was with him and felt dizzy and confused but okay. The conversation moved on slightly and he stopped and said he didn't feel like i was completely in the room and went on to do some grounding with me, things we've done during panic attacks like naming things around the room and so on. We continued the session and he kept checking if i was in the room. It was like while we were talking i wasn't really thinking about how i answered and though i was in the room, in my minds eye all i could see was the memory, it was sort of like switching between the 2, like trying to watch tv while playing on your phone. I couldn't help but feel distracted. What was happening and why?
4- I was raised in a home where crying or showing pain wasn't allowed, my parents were fans of violence and any tears or showing of pain would be met with, lets just say a less than nurturing response. When i start to get upset in my sessions or i feel like i'm bubbling i just shut down. It's like closing the tab on the emotion. My T is aware of this, and we have spent time ''pausing'' in a feeling. I've been asked to describe the feeling, to allow the anxiety to be there in a safe space, but i still can't fully open up. I know that i'm in a safe space and nothing bad will happen if i open up and let go of the hold on my emotions, but i can't do it. Any tips on becoming more comfortable with that and allowing the feelings to show?
Sorry for rambling guys,
Thank you
