Afraid I Might Lose My Father

[Deleted member 19804]

I wrote my dad a letter today, but now I'm not sure if I did it right. I read online that it's not ok to tell a suicidal person that he would leave behind many loved ones and that people need him. But my dad expresses things like that he believes he's a burden to people and that he would easily be replaced by someone else. I thought I could maybe use that reasoning against those thoughts, by reminding him that we love him and need him. I can relate to him up to some point, but I've never been suicidal so I really don't know what impact my words could have on him.

What should I do?

 

[scout86]

Is it true that people love him and want him around? I see no reason not to tell him that. I don't know that you can really guilt someone into not killing themselves, but I think everyone wants to know they're wanted and that they matter. Not saying that when you have the chance seems like a mistake. I can't see what harm it could do.

 

[Deleted member 19804]

@scout86 that's exactly what I thought. Of course I tell him how much I love him and how much he means to me very often, both in subtle ways and directly to his face. But I know him well enough to know that that may not be enough to convince him that he should stay alive. He blames himself for everything that goes wrong, even when those things are not even remotely his fault.

I think that if he would ever choose to die, he would have convinced himself some way that people would be better off without him. And I need him to know that that will never be true. But he won't listen to me. I don't like guilt-tripping him into staying alive, but if that's what it takes to save him, I will do it.

Actually I just called some suicide prevention hotline for advice, but they just told me to talk to my GP and call the police and ambulance if things escalate. So that wasn't very helpful at all. I will talk to my mom some more about what she would do, maybe we should both talk to the GP. Otherwise I will give him the letter I had written originally.