After 10 Years I Found A Trauma Group But...

[Deleted member 29899]

After 10 years I have finally found a trauma group. I was excited out of my mind, wanting that resource for so long and finally having found it...

Group rules-
You can't talk about your trauma. You can't even hint at what category of trauma you're suffering from or you're asked to stop.
You can't speak about how it's affected you, can't discuss how you're suffering. No talk about symptoms.
You're only allowed to talk about positive things.
Period. End of story.

What the????? So, being my first time there, I passed and wanted to know just how this was going to work. I listened, I watched people struggling to talk .... struggling very hard to verbally dance around all the sh*t in their lives, how there suffering, the shitty things that have happened since the last meeting.... so basically no one had anything to say- because they are not allowed to speak about anything that they need to speak about. Lots of uncomfortable eye contact with each other - the eye contact saying 'well, CAN I talk about this...'. Lots of long silent pauses.

After the meeting people do not talk about their trauma, because they feel they shouldn't. They get up and leave and people are in a hurry and eager to leave.

What did I get out of it? Zip. Zilch. Nada. Nothing. I can't imagine how anyone is getting anything out of this group. What could they get out of it?

They all have jobs and lives outside of it. (I don't, so I kind of expected more maybe.)

It's not run by a professional. Someone started it because the health care system isn't offering anything.

I'm perplexed.

I wonder how other PTSD groups operate?

After looking for all these years I'm pretty disappointed.

 

[fuzzypenguin]

I am wondering if since it's not run by a professional, if that's partly why discussion of symptoms or the trauma is forbidden. Maybe so the leader doesn't give out medical or professional advice. That's odd though.

I do hope you find a group that allows such talk. That is one the main huge points of group.

 

[Friday]

Sounds like someone tried to start a social group. To be able to be "normal" around other trauma peeps... And it hasn't gone so well.

Other disorders have these... They're always paired with a hard hitting group. 1 group to process heavy shit, 1 group to unwind and just be.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

That's not a support group. That's a Pollyanna group! Seriously.... i.e. we can only talk about positive things!

I'm guessing that because its run by an individual, that is why the rules are what they are.

At the next meeting, stand up and say that you're not getting much out of the group as is, and that you can clearly see that nobody else is, either. Tell them that you're looking for a more engaging environment where you are free to discuss your issues and get feedback. Tell them that you are open to others contacting you outside of the group. (If the leader balks, well, that's her issue.....its a private run group and not subject to any sort of insurance regulations or even ethical regulations.)

I can understand not talking about the trauma itself. I was in the trauma hospital and talking about the trauma in group was against the rules. Trauma talk was for individual therapy only. However, we were allowed to talk about anything else that we desired. But only talking about positive things? That is NOT a support group! (People don't need a group in order to talk about all the good things in their life!!!)

ETA

Nami is ALL peer run (the groups that is).....we are allowed to talk about anything pretty much, but people don't go into trauma details. (I think the leaders would stop someone if it went too far.)

 

[Deleted member 29899]

Hi.
@fuzzypenguin It's run by a health professional who suffers from PTSD herself but she's running it just as 'one of us', she doesn't have a PTSD educational background, probably just reads and researches like the rest of us. I think she and others were getting triggered by each other so they made these rules up. I showed up after these rules were in place and ....well, you don't even know you're at a PTSD group! Lol. it was really disheartening though, after ALL these years to find something and it ISNT something. I was really looking for ANY kind of help or at least a feeling of belonging but you cannot feel like you're part of a group (and neither can any of them) if you're not sharing anything, People come together as a 'group' because they have a common bond or interest. Well we do, but none of it can be spoken about. ???

I suspect others will dwindle away eventually. Its a group of people that needs a professional. I think the gal running it thinks she's providing a service .... She started it with good intentions but I don't think she knows what she's doing. It's a shame someone with experience in trauma in this darn city can't step up to the plate and start a group or the health care system can't give us some thing.

I'll go once more, see if there is anything there worth going for. It just seems like a waste of time, avoiding a topic we should be dealing with! If people have a shitty week, they should be able to talk about it. That's against the rules though.
Its one person attempting to run a group that they know nothing about. Unfortunately.

 

[Sandstone]

Is there scope to give and gain more through questioning how people achieve the positive things? So if someone says " I went for a walk every day this week" you follow with "i'd like to be able to get outside, what did you do to achieve that?"

 

[Deleted member 29899]

Maybe that's what it's all about but we're all missing it. I don't think so. If it's that simplistic I don't think anyone will hang around.

 

[digger]

If none of you are happy with it, and more people want the same kind of set up you do, could you arrange that between you?

 

[Deleted member 29899]

I don't know what others want. I'm assuming since no one can share anything, they won't stick it out either.
I'll go once more, if it's the same as it was I won't return.
I do not know how to run a trauma group. I'm not a specialist. I'm a sufferer. I do not have enough knowledge to direct a group of traumatized individuals.

 

[Anarchy]

From what I've read, I think the rule about not talking about trauma is to avoid traumatizing others who are there.

In other contexts, for example DBT group sessions, there is an absolute ban on discussing self harm, or suicidal ideations feelings and plans because it was found that those areas didn't need much kindling before they spread through the whole group.

Bringing it back to trauma, on a board like this, it is easy(ish) to stop reading if it is getting too much. In meat space, it is somewhat harder to get up and leave the room - harder both on the person who wants to get up and leave, and on the person who is speaking.

 

[Deleted member 29899]

Yes. That is what I've explained.

 

[Ed Norton]

Being triggered is an important part of therapy, in general. Avoidance of triggers is one of the most debilitating things. I wouldn't be in a trauma group like that. A social group maybe, but as therapy it seems useless.