W
Wagon
What do you do when an elephant comes through your window?
Swim!
Swim!
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Alright We Need More Jokes
- Post starter Fargo1
- Start date
- Status
W
Wagon
Foul mouthed Billy was playing with his trains in the living room while his Mother made dinner. In due course his Mother overheard him say.
"OK. All you sonofabitches that want to get on the train, get on. All those sonofabitches that want to get off, get off!!
His mother quickly rushed into the room. "Billy! I told you not to use those words"
"Sorry Mom" said Billy.
A bit later his mother overheard.
"Attention! All you motherf*ckers that want to get on the train. Get on. All you motherf*ckers who want to get off. Do it!"
"Billy!!!" His mother screamed. "How many times do I have to tell you? Stop using bad words!"
"OK, Sorry Mom." said Billy
A few minutes later his mother again overheard Billy. He said:
"Attention Ladies and Gentlemen. We have arrived at our destination. For those of you departing please do so now. For those persons boarding for another destination, you may also proceed at this time. And will all of you please hurry the f*ck up, because that bitch in the Kitchen has already made us 10 minutes late!!"
"OK. All you sonofabitches that want to get on the train, get on. All those sonofabitches that want to get off, get off!!
His mother quickly rushed into the room. "Billy! I told you not to use those words"
"Sorry Mom" said Billy.
A bit later his mother overheard.
"Attention! All you motherf*ckers that want to get on the train. Get on. All you motherf*ckers who want to get off. Do it!"
"Billy!!!" His mother screamed. "How many times do I have to tell you? Stop using bad words!"
"OK, Sorry Mom." said Billy
A few minutes later his mother again overheard Billy. He said:
"Attention Ladies and Gentlemen. We have arrived at our destination. For those of you departing please do so now. For those persons boarding for another destination, you may also proceed at this time. And will all of you please hurry the f*ck up, because that bitch in the Kitchen has already made us 10 minutes late!!"
reddevil1111
Diamond Member
THAT was my childhood in a joke Wagon. Just take out mom and put in Da. lol spot on.
SpentRound
Bronze Member
Lee C
Platinum Member
British Military Officer Fitness Reports
The British Military writes OFR's (officer fitness reports). The form used
for Royal Navy and Marines fitness reports is the S206. The following are
actual excerpts taken from people's "206's"....
- His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of curiosity.
- I would not breed from this Officer.
- This Officer is really not so much of a has-been,
but more of a definitely won't-be.
- When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change
whichever foot was previously in there.
- He has carried out each and every one of his duties to his entire
satisfaction.
- He would be out of his depth in a car park puddle.
- Technically sound, but socially impossible.
- This Officer reminds me very much of a gyroscope - always spinning around
at a frantic pace, but not really going anywhere.
- This young lady has delusions of adequacy.
- When he joined my ship, this Officer was something of a granny; since then
he has aged considerably.
- This Medical Officer has used my ship to carry his genitals from port to
port, and my officers to carry him from bar to bar.
- Since my last report he has reached rock bottom, and has started to dig.
- She sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve
them.
- He has the wisdom of youth, and the energy of old age.
- This Officer should go far - and the sooner he starts, the better.
- In my opinion this pilot should not be authorized to fly below 250 feet.
- The only ship I would recommend this man for is citizenship.
- Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a
trap
- This man is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
(A favourie of mine and is not confined to one continent)
- Only occasionally wets himself under pressure
The British Military writes OFR's (officer fitness reports). The form used
for Royal Navy and Marines fitness reports is the S206. The following are
actual excerpts taken from people's "206's"....
- His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of curiosity.
- I would not breed from this Officer.
- This Officer is really not so much of a has-been,
but more of a definitely won't-be.
- When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change
whichever foot was previously in there.
- He has carried out each and every one of his duties to his entire
satisfaction.
- He would be out of his depth in a car park puddle.
- Technically sound, but socially impossible.
- This Officer reminds me very much of a gyroscope - always spinning around
at a frantic pace, but not really going anywhere.
- This young lady has delusions of adequacy.
- When he joined my ship, this Officer was something of a granny; since then
he has aged considerably.
- This Medical Officer has used my ship to carry his genitals from port to
port, and my officers to carry him from bar to bar.
- Since my last report he has reached rock bottom, and has started to dig.
- She sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve
them.
- He has the wisdom of youth, and the energy of old age.
- This Officer should go far - and the sooner he starts, the better.
- In my opinion this pilot should not be authorized to fly below 250 feet.
- The only ship I would recommend this man for is citizenship.
- Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a
trap
- This man is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
(A favourie of mine and is not confined to one continent)
- Only occasionally wets himself under pressure
W
Wagon
Boy. that really brings back some memories Lee. It was the ultimate weapon against Officers and Enlisted alike. Pencil whip their careers into doom.
W
Wagon
Some where out of the blue........... came the Hellen Keller jokes.
How did Hellen Keller burn her face?
She answered the iron.
How did Hellen Keller burn her face?
She answered the iron.
reddevil1111
Diamond Member
Ill see your elephant and raise you to ugly mom jokes..
Yo mama so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals."
Yo mama so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals."
reddevil1111
Diamond Member
Yo mama so poor when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people's fingers!
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