Always The Outcast!

[Legend]

Man thats some pretty good stuff there Sheila, I too have some strange people at my church. I am a huge man and look quite different from most of the other men, I have a shaved head, tattoos and am fairly loud bacause I cannot hear that well. The fact is I dont sport a Church face, when you see me on the street I am the same, rough around the edges but real in every way. I know that people gossip about me but thats ok I really dont care, as I am not there for them so much as I am there to worship. It also dosent help that I am a greeter out front, kind of funny to tell the truth. They just have to speak to me because they dont want to be seen as unfriendly. I have been treated the same as you at times, however I handle it by confronting them in a nice way after church. I thank them for being there and tell them that I really look farward to seeing them every Sunday.

Most of the time they are caught off guard and dont know how to respond, It seems to sort of shut them down ( kill them with kindness ). I can relate to you wanting to spit in her face, I look at it like this Sheila, these people havent a clue what being a good person is. I do feel sorry for them in a way bacause they are just miserable inside, also the fact that they take it out on the rest of us is really telling. Some people have a real need to hate to feel better about their own life.................and remember hate is based on admiration and jealousy it does have a reason and thats it. I really have to watch my own thinking too, I can get the wrong impression pretty often. Some people are uncomfortable around me because they just cannot relate to me as a person. My experence in life has been quite different than whats normal, which makes me unique in many ways.

My pain is my own to deal with and I make a point of trying not to project it onto others. It is very hard to stay on my square sometimes when dealing with people, but I remind myself that my strength has been built enduring pain. Most people could never have done the things I have done in my life, I have done horriable things to others and have seen many things that would shatter a regular mind. I have to give them room for error, why, because they just dont know any better.

Have a great day, Legend

 

[Changing4Best]

...and remember hate is based on admiration and jealousy it does have a reason and thats it. I really have to watch my own thinking too, I can get the wrong impression pretty often. ...

I never heard that about the admiration and jealousy thing. That is intense and makes a lot of sense now that I think on it. And yes, I know, I may have the wrong impression entirely about the woman, I really have to watch that too. For all I know, she's trying to play "reverse psychology" on the man and I! LOL...

 

[Legend]

Sheila you may not have the wrong impression, and she just might be a real bitc* hahahah Have a great day and know I like you and respect you as a person.

 

[The Albatross]

Shelia, you had it all figured out in your first two posts. You acknowledged the feelings, rationally acknowledged that one other person was also not part of the group, and made the decision of doing a good turn and cultivating perhaps a bit more of a relationship with someone who may be in need of some kindness. Good on you!!!

Some of my best friends have been substantially older, they have all manner of wisdom and wit... having weathered many trials and adversities. I hope you bake those cookies or knock on her door and give that gal a card. :hug: :tup:

 

[Changing4Best]

Thanks Legend, I needed a good hearty laugh! LOL... and I appreciate your thoughtfulness and support!

 

[Changing4Best]

Alba, Thanks. Her name is Sue, pray for us that we have something nice on Chrismas, because I just recalled that she usually goes to the Senior Center, but they will be closed that day. She will be happy for the company, unless she is out with family. I think she does have family, a brother, if I recall. Maybe Christmas Eve! Or the day before that!! I pray I find the right moment for both of us...

 

[Changing4Best]

There is this one women at church that makes me feel so out of place, she's so "proper" and uppity, you know. ...The thing is that she makes a point of sitting between me and the only widower in the church (I am a widow), a nice quiet fellow. So he and I are always craning our necks around this woman and her girlfriends, so that we can chat for a second... I'd love to spit in her face! ...just to see her reaction! (And I have NEVER spit at anyone!!!)

(Quoting myself above here). Well! Today she one upped herself in badness, she planted one of her girlfriends to BLOCK my way into MY PEW! (Behind her). When I made a point of butting my way into my pew anyway and saying EXCUSE ME!" that woman got up and went up one pew and sat next to Miss "Uppity." Then later, when the widower sat right in front of me, Miss Uppity immediately invited HIM for lunch (but not I, of course). I guess she wanted to be sure he didn't invite me to lunch. NO ONE invites me to lunch. They all KNOW I am the "poor widow" and am not worthy of their "uppity" company or fellowship. I went home and cried to the Lord, bitter tears, but he told me to go out to MacDonalds, so I did. I met some nice stangers there...

Well. Next week is the Christmas Pot Luck lunch, so maybe the widower might get brave enough to sit next to me? I doubt it, but I can always pray... who knows, but I think God does listen to the prayers of a lonely widow, possibly moreso than an uppety woman, just maybe! Pray for me, please, all you who pray! I need all the prayers I can get. And we better all pray for Miss Uppity too, because she needs a new heart! LOL...

 

[Changing4Best]

Well! I found out he's never been married. He apparently took care of his elderly mother until she passed away (very nice!), though I did not think to ask how long ago her death occurred. Nor did I think to ask what her health conditions were right up until her passing. (Like was she well enough to cook for him and take care of him right up until the end or was he doing all that for her!?!)

If he is looking for someone to take care of him, sadly, it cannot be me. My neuoapathy in my hands is such that to do much housekeeping is out of the question... and cooking? OUCH! No one likes my cooking, not even me! I do things like eat cottage cheese and olives, corn chips and cheese dip, maybe some pasta (rice pasta, as I am allergic to wheat). Pasta is really difficult to burn, darn near impossible, unless you forget you are cooking it! I'm so forgetful though, if I leave the kitchen when I am cooking, I forget I am cooking until I smell something burning... also, I can only cook one thing at a time. If I try to cook two things, inevitably, one will burn while I tend to the other!!!

I'm really not much of a wife in terms of wifely talents, sigh... I do recall the woman who told me all she knew about him telling me he had a housekeeper when his mother was living, but I don't know if he has one now or can even afford one. I am kind of poor, so I'm not so sure I could help him to pay for one, or even just someone to come by and clean a bit...

I'm jumping WAY ahead here anyway, who knows even if there is any future for he and I, let alone a relationship or marriage! I ramble. Sorry!

 

[Cat Herder]

I feel exactly the same way.

 

[Legend]

Hey Sheila
How you doing these days, well I hope. The guy that you have your eye on would be very lucky to have a relationship with you. From what I can tell, you are a very caring and thoughtful person, not to mention your intelligent as well. Who the hell cares if you can cook, I bet you dont give yourself enough credit in the kitchen. Besides anyone who likes olives and pasta is ok by me. I love to eat, cook and smoke meat. I am known for my ribs and pulled pork in about 7/8 different states.

Oh one last thing, you said in a post, ( that you are poor ) Shelia, money can never make anyone rich. It is something that we all need to survive but, real riches are stored in the heart, bought and paid for, not with money, but with kindness, respect, love and admoration. That is true riches that no one can take away, but it is to be shared among mankind every chance we get. So see, you are rich Sheila beyond anyones wildest dreams.

Have a great day and Merry Christmas, Legend

 

[Changing4Best]

AWWWWEEE... thanks Legend, you made my day!

Well, my pastor made my day too, he invited me for Christmas dinner, when I mentioned I am a widow and had nowhere to go for the holiday. I was so touched by his invitation that I cried. Anyway, what you said above gives me hope. I was going to ask my pastor a HUGE favor and see if maybe he might invite my guy I have not met very much officially yet too (but the fellow does say HI and wishes me a good week, etc.). I got bashful and chickened out though. Maybe I shall ask the pastor's wife to ask him. Women understand matters of love... ;).

Thanks for this adorable picture. Is that from a movie or cartoon or book...? It is adorable!

Oh, and Christmas started for me today. I found out that I have more in my checking acccount than I thought I did, so I went out and got my hair cut, got some Christmas presents for myself and feel extra happy. I can honestly say that your statements above make "the icing on the cake" that is my day though!

 

[squireparty]

I just wanted to say, Thank You for posting your original post here. I have definitely felt like an outcast most of my life. Reading what you had to say encouraged me to sign up here - so Thank You. Squireparty