Get her to a therapist that works with sexual assualt/abuse. My exwife would always use that same quote. she was a survivor like me, but she couldnt recognize that she was allowing the abuse to continue by making herself available to all. men or women.
If she tries to use ED as a way or means to make you crush to her (needs) desires, she is only focused on her (needs) *its an illness* not that of the marriage.
As to talking it out as two adults, I can say this she has a 3 bedroom/3bath home on 240 acres of africian burmada grass w/7 acre custom built pond, w/minerial rights, and the freedom to do as she pleases. Where I have my life without fear of a STD. (Like I really need something else added to my scare the Shinola out of me list). this after 13 years married, and me doing everything I could to see to her being happy this includes a new car every 2 years.
