Am I Going Too Fast/doing Too Much Too Fast?

[joeylittle]

Emergency plan, i dont have any friends so cant text or call a friend, my dad & step mom dont understand & arent supportive so cant go there, if im that suicidal i cant talk so calling a crisis line is out, and if i go to the ER or call 911 im gonna be committed for at least 72 hrs & i cant do that, i have to work.

Nope. You will have to find a compromise in here, somewhere. Choosing to commit to a lack of options when it comes to suicidality is a Borderline trait. None of the options are going to seem doable (let alone comfortable) but you need at least 2.

Other options:

• Go to the hospital and just sit in the parking lot, or sit in the ER waiting room. This is essentially putting yourself right next to help, without fully risking a disclosure that might take you offline for 72 hours.
• Realize that being put on a 72-hour hold, if it keeps you alive, will allow you to make money in the future. Having a partially successful attempt might keep you out of work far longer. A successful attempt will mean you never make money again.
• Have a very well-developed series of distractions that you can commit to, one at a time, for 10 minutes each, until the feeling passes. I have a very long list. I set my phone as a timer and make myself do the distraction for at least five minutes, more often 10. If at the end of the 10 minutes I'm still in bad shape, I can keep doing the one I'm doing for another 10, or I can change.
• Find out the websites for crisis chat. If you can't talk, you can still type.
• You can call a crisis line and say "I'm having a panic attack and need help grounding". Doesn't matter if it takes a number of minutes to get them out. And it doesn't matter that you are really having an attack of suicidal thinking. It'll put you in contact with someone.

Can you think of any more?

btw, what does DMT mean?

DBT. (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy), with a mis-type.

 

[void]

Nope. You will have to find a compromise in here, somewhere. Choosing to commit to a lack of option...

Oic.

I do know DBT. I just had not encountered the acronym DMT.
I did not know it was a typo.
Thanks:)

 

[lostforgottensoul]

This:

How I go about determining whether I'm good, or need to slow down, or need to speed up? First my own estimation,

and

I'm most typically working solo / don't have others opinions to help me (or fight against).

Me neither, except i fight my self, if that counts ;)

And this:

Adding the opinions of others makes things a bit more complicated. My estimation + Their estimation = ________? When they both agree, whether we're right or wrong in our estimation, no worries. When there's conflict? LOL. All depends on who the other person is & how much I allow them to influence me!

Influence me i think the DMT workbook will help with.

And this:

In the end it always comes down to me making decisions in/for my own life. As no matter how much I value someone else's opinion, right or wrong, it's my life. The living of it is my responsibility.

All makes perfect sense.

Like i said in my first sentence, i didnt think anyone would really be able to answer it fully (though i have some awesome insights & other things to look out for) it makes sense.

I feel that my core beliefs and working anthony's process im stuggling with, or at least getting my brain around something small enough to work with. My inner child is gonna take a bit of time to get love from me, though having simi-regular talks with "her" is likely a good idea and so tjat leaves the DMT workbook which i think is most important for many reasons (my interactions here and in the real world one of them) but mainly because if it does cause me to tailspin i will be able to handle it better.

BUT that work book talks about ahow yourself kindness and love and unless i fo that, i dont think i can do the other 2, once i do that i will be able to show my inner child love this grieve her and i think that will also help me, through my inner child whom has all of this small core belief stuff way down in my subconscience, lead to my smallest core believe to work on.

See, told you i adore your replies FL! Thanks! :hug:

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Have a very well-developed series of distractions that you can commit to,

This i have, chapter one ;) AND i did put them on 3X5 cards like it says & they are in my wallet. I need to go to walmart to get some of the soothing stuff but the distrations are all set.

Go to the hospital and just sit in the parking lot, or sit in the ER waiting room. This is essentially putting yourself right next to help, without fully risking a disclosure that might take you offline for 72 hours.

That sounds like an awesome idea. Right now anyway. When im there, umsure but hopefully im far enough through the book to think clearer?

Find out the websites for crisis chat. If you can't talk, you can still type.

I asked about that once on here and didnt get an answer. I CAN do that. I didnt know they had crisis chats. So they do exist? I didnt think to google it, i wasnt suicidal, someone else was & so it didnt occur to me to google it. I will find some and bookmark them on both browsers. I did search suicide in google play once but not much came up, it was the same time i was searched anxiety.

You can call a crisis line and say "I'm having a panic attack and need help grounding". Doesn't matter if it takes a number of minutes to get them out. And it doesn't matter that you are really having an attack of suicidal thinking. It'll put you in contact with someone.

True.

Can you think of any more?

Not at the moment but im sure i can if i sit and think. As usual, you covered most of it.

A 72 hr hold isnt the end of the world and i have my sup's cell # and (if they let you keep you're cell) i can tell him. He knows somewhat of what im dealing with and hella awesome. Just dont wanna push my luck at a company thats already laid off 100 ppl and has me on a write up. Doesnt matter if i die, does if i dont. I can generally plant my ass on the couch and vow to not move, and usually end up falling asleep but i can drive myself to huffing again and i dont want that either.

I think im worrying over nothing, i dont feel a bit overwhelmed, at all. Just hearing folks say that were saying slow down got me thinking is all but i see it more of vaccuming a line in one room, going to the next room & one line, then a different room and keep doing that til the whole house is vaccummed if that makes sense.

Now if i were working on say 3 core beliefs at once, that id understand wouldnt really work well.

DBT. (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy), with a mis-type.

Haha, sorry, i just noticed i did that throughout this whole thread. My bad :p

 

[lostforgottensoul]

I do know DBT. I just had not encountered the acronym DMT.
I did not know it was a typo.

More like i was working, typing fast while talking and wasnt paying that much attention. To my defense, the entire book title is in the OP :P. Just joking w/ ya. Sorry bout that

 

[joeylittle]

http://www.crisischat.org/
http://www.crisistextline.org/
http://hopenet360.com/help/

 

[lostforgottensoul]

This why on one level you 'know' that the cult teaching are false, yet despite that you remain confined by the programming.

This right here has got to be the MOST frustrating part of all!

 

[lostforgottensoul]

http://www.crisischat.org/
Crisis Text Line | Text HOME To 741741 free, 24/7 Crisis Counseling

Have i told you lately how much i love you? Bookmarking them now! In addition I saved the text one in my phone. Thanks! :hug:

 

[lostforgottensoul]

AAAANNNNDDDD Im taking a break from them all to catch up a my bazillon of shows that are gaining in my DVR. Never thought id be saying that. I stopped on chapter 2 in the DBT book, it'll hold :)

Thanks everyone. Though i was worried really about nothing (which i often do), still got me to take a break at least one day :P. And got some great advise and site out of it. Y'all are some awesome peeps!

 

[void]

More like i was working, typing fast while talking and wasnt paying that much attention. To m...

Np:laugh::laugh::laugh::hug:

 

[Ronin]

. I just had not encountered the acronym DMT.

That would be a hallucinogen, if the case. Di-methyltryptamine (sp).

 

[void]

That would be a hallucinogen, if the case. Di-methyltryptamine (sp).

Yeah, I know:laugh::roflmao::laugh::roflmao:....that why I asked for clarification because I was thinking ":wideeyed:There's a DMT workbook:wideeyed:?!?!"
:D:D