Am I just "lucky" with finding Therapists?

[Freddyt]

It's been bugging me. Did I get lucky or was it just using the right resources to find my T's?

I found my first T by calling the local mental health association and getting a list of psychologists that did EMDR. I picked the first one that called back. Something I used to do regularly at work - pick the first guy to call back because either they are organized and get stuff done or they need work so they care about the quality of their work.

My second T was recommended by the first. Again a list - first one to call back - they always want to do a phone interview but me and phones don't get along so we went in person (brought my wife). We messed around with the safety stuff the first couple sessions but got down to work the last two and wow, I am happy I picked that T.

So stupid questions.....
Is it me? I have a sales background so I do things differently than some. Sales is about making a personal connection with someone first.
So is that part of this?
Do I find ways to get along with people and feel comfortable and that helps with therapy?

Or am I just two times lucky?

 

[LuckiLee]

You're lucky that you have choices. We're stuck in the V.A. system for now and they are the bottom of the barrel in our experience.

J just got a new T and had his first meeting on Wednesday. He didn't want to hurt him and got some good feedback so .

Glad you found a good fit!!

 

[Movingforward10]

I also feel lucky. Contacted one therapist. She had space. 3 1/2 years later….

though 20 years ago when I tried then: not so lucky. And never returned after the first terrible session. then though, I had to rely on the health service and couldn’t pick the person, nor could I afford to Pay privately.
so luck, or means?

 

[arfie]

i've been called lucky in my healing path. i believe i am simply letting the healing mysteries guide and working with whatever they send me. like? ? ? ? want? ? ? personally, i'd prefer a magic wand that needs only sugar and spice to heal the wounds of social injustice, but since i what i want isn't even on the menu, i work with what's available.

 

[No More]

If you are on the nhs in the Uk then luck seriously comes into it. You get who you are given, end of. And that will depend on location/wait lists/funding/whether they can give you to someone training or recently qualified etc

If you aren’t on the nhs then you do at least get a say (depending on what you can afford to spend), so that removes some of the luck element. I think that makes it easier to find the right one, because you can at least read a little about them first, choose by speciality, or gender, age etc etc

 

[KayW]

If you are on the nhs in the Uk then luck seriously comes into it. You get who you are given

I'm in the UK too but still feel lucky. My first therapist was an NHS person but she recognized that I needed longer term therapy and helped me to find a charity that specialized in sexual trauma. My therapist there was amazing and I always felt comfortable because she knew about trauma.

Is it me? I have a sales background so I do things differently than some. Sales is about making a personal connection with someone first.
So is that part of this?

With my current therapist, I found it really difficult to build trust so I didn't want to talk and and there were a couple of careless moments when my therapist said the wrong thing (for me) so I left. A few months later, I went back to that therapist because I was facing something I knew would trigger me and he knew some of my story, so it was easier than having to explain. This time we've developed a really good relationship and therapy is helping.

So I think that while it is in part about finding a good therapist, also being ready to do the therapy work ourselves can also play a part in how we view the therapist and how successful therapy will be. So a little bit of luck maybe, but probably likely that you worked at the healing process

 

[Freida]

yep. Sometimes we just (finally!) get lucky.
Or, as my t says, sometimes the universe sends us what we need and we think of it as luck LOL

 

[Freddyt]

Or, as my t says, sometimes the universe sends us what we need and we think of it as luck LOL

Then the universe has been very kind....twice.

If you aren’t on the nhs then you do at least get a say (depending on what you can afford to spend), so that removes some of the luck element. I think that makes it easier to find the right one, because you can at least read a little about them first, choose by speciality, or gender, age etc etc

Thats unfortunate. Here we pay ourselves so we get choice.

 

[Freddyt]

J just got a new T and had his first meeting on Wednesday. He didn't want to hurt him and got some good feedback so .

I hope so for him too. It's hard enough to go to the hard places you need to to heal.

I really feel for those "forced" into a take it or leave it system. It seems unfair.

So I think that while it is in part about finding a good therapist, also being ready to do the therapy work ourselves can also play a part in how we view the therapist and how successful therapy will be. So a little bit of luck maybe, but probably likely that you worked at the healing process

Well, yes. With the first T I went in cold. I didn't want to read or learn anything so that I wouldn't walk in with expectations or preconceptions of what it was or what would happen.

I have always tried to be invested in therapy - you can not expect to just show up and it magically works. I found doing my part to improve my everyday and understand the problems I face is like my "homework". It's what helps me be ready to move on in therapy and handle some more complex stuff.

 

[Friday]

Spoiler: IMO

I’ve been lucky a couple times. Right person, right place, right time.

I’ve got mad skills in finding T’s, have it down to an artform in finding someone who specializes in ADHD. And still spent YEARS attempting to find someone with experience in my own trauma history, with PTSD.

It was a bit humbling.

There are -roughly- 200 trauma therapists in my city. As I’ve spoken with all of them. The vast majority specialize in childhood trauma. A few specialize elsewhere. NONE in my own history. I had to travel 5 hours by train (each way) after interviewing over 1,000 therapists in my state/region; in increasingly wider circles, to find anyone who specializes in my own stuff, and then had to sift through about a dozen or so to find someone I clicked with.

Versus?

As I said, I’ve gotten lucky a couple of times. The very first contact… and BOOM! Exactly who I needed, when I needed them.

As I said, after decades of finding T’s to work with, I’ve got this shit down —past science— to fawking ART, in concern of another disorder. From a few hundred, to five, to one, in less than a week… and often less than an afternoon.

I also, as a side note? Have a degree or three, which ups both my abilities and expectations. I knoooooow what I’m doing.

But?

I still spent YEARS trying to find someone to work with, with my trauma history, & PTSD.

Better to be lucky than good.

 

[Teasel]

Until recently I have been mostly 'unlucky' but I now know it prolly has a lot to do with not knowing I'm autistic n adhd for the first 50 years of my life. The 2 therapists I've had since knowing have been great.

 

[Freddyt]

Until recently I have been mostly 'unlucky' but I now know it prolly has a lot to do with not knowing I'm autistic n adhd for the first 50 years of my life. The 2 therapists I've had since knowing have been great.

Is that because you got a therapist better suited to your needs or that its easier to communicate? Or something else altogether?