Childhood Am I Over-reacting?

[braggle]

Hi all,

The last few days I've had access to some memories that haven't been about for a while and one in particular is making me sick to my stomach.

I don't know if anyone remembers in the 90's when liam and Noel Gallagher (Brothers for anyone that doesn't know) from the band oasis French kissed and caused loads of controvosy. Well it turned out that my dad and brother thought this was hilarious and imitated it a few times, the thing is my brother was only about 14 when this was happening.

This was completely wrong right? Or am I being overly sensitive? I don't think that my dad was consciously acting in a sexually abusive manor or even realised that it was. This is the same man that told me to pretend to be his wife in front of his work colleagues when I was 12, to wind them up in his words. I'm not sure if I'm in denial over his actions as very poor attempts at humour or if there was something more sinister to them.

Because of my own history I know that I tend to see abuse in situations where there is none and I don't trust myself when im hearing that this genuinely is at best extremely innapropriate.

I hate my messed up brain!!

 

[Deleted member 20280]

One word answer (NO) you are not over-reacting.

 

[braggle]

Thank you Laurie I needed to hear that from someone else.

 

[Deleted member 20280]

:hug:

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Oh, that damn band who thought they were bigger than the Beatles! LMAO, we all know how that one ended up... Although "Wonderwall" is one of my favorite songs.

I think that it does indeed go a bit far.

Reverse rolls. A mother kissing a 14 year old son? Even if it is just to be funny? Or a Dad kissing a 14 year old daughter? Not cool. I think at first the genders threw me, but now that I think about it, no parent should be doing that.

Was it a full on mouth kiss or were they faking it with hands in front of their mouths? I just ask b/c we used to do that as kids (with other kids, not adults!)

 

[braggle]

Agreed on the gender issue, I can't put myself in my dads place but maybe he though it was ok because it wasnt an opposite sex thing, which I absolutely don't agree with.

And yes it was a full on mouth kiss. Without being too graphic there were touching tongues.

 

[shimmerz]

Creepy. All.Wrong. No how, no way should that have happened.

 

[RussH]

At the absolute minimum it is highly inappropriate.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

It was so wrong and you are trusting your gut instincts by asking this question. Very, very wrong. I am sorry about these memories coming up. I am afraid that it is only the tip of the iceburg for you. My heart goes out to you. I am very proud of you for asking this question, very brave and courageous of you.

 

[braggle]

Thank you shimmerz and RussH for your replies I'm feeling ashamed that I needed others validation that this was wrong.

gizmo thank you for your kind words, you are right about this being the tip of the iceburg. A lot is flooding back to me at the moment and I'm feeling tremendous guilt at having not done anything at the time. It was drummed into me through childhood to basically let men do as they please and not dare question it.

Urrghh I'm so full of hate and guilt that needs to be redirected at the people that abused their positions and not at myself.

 

[Deleted member 20280]

I have a philosophy on life, No one here ever need says Sorry to me, after all they are not either of the 2 men that abused me. They are the only two people who need to apologise to me.

 

[braggle]

I like that Laurie.