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Am I overreacting about someone calling me nuts and crazy?
- Post starter Justmehere
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LuckiLee
VIP Member
Well done! You handled it way better than I would have. ;) Sometimes I "stoop to their level" and (usually) regret it. When I'm disrespected?? I have no problem cutting you out of my life. I'm too old for negative Nellies causing drama in my life. I try to surround myself with loving positive people. People help or hinder... Good luck with everything!
Freida
VIP Member
You did an amazing job handling that! I'm really glad they acknowledged you took the high road and that you didn't get sucked into her drama. Just the fact that you are still concerned about her, after all her attempts to complicate your life, shows what a great person you are.
I suffered such an incident today. was just innocently watching tv and a colleague I thought I got along with casually says to me your mad as a hatter like the cartoons on TV. I have no idea what the intention was but for me the intention does not matter it still hurts me like hell. I just want to crawl away somewere and disappear. I find it impossible to take it as a joke right now. When you have known what madness is and the hell it took you to I just find it impossible. its just so humiliating and dehumanising and does not honour in any way what I have been through. such people will never be my friends.
- Post starter
- #53
Justmehere
Sponsor
So. Both of the other women contacted me today. One via voicemail and the other via email.
They told me no worries her comments about her plans to break her bones is a metaphor. They said it reads like a metaphor. Talked to her and she said she had no plans. She’s safe. Carry on with your life and just ignore it. It was as metaphor only.
No other statements.
My reaction?
“What?!”
So dishonest statements of plans to break bones said just to emotionally hurt another person are totally ok now? I mean she detailed place, time, location, etc. all just as a lying metaphor of how awful it is to be around me and I should just pretend it never happened.
I’m glad she’s claiming she’s safe and all...
She. Can’t. Be. Around. Me. I won’t do this dance of emotional blackmail with her. She couldn’t stop for 3 days with all this nonsense.
Nope. No way. Done.
They told me no worries her comments about her plans to break her bones is a metaphor. They said it reads like a metaphor. Talked to her and she said she had no plans. She’s safe. Carry on with your life and just ignore it. It was as metaphor only.
No other statements.
My reaction?
“What?!”
So dishonest statements of plans to break bones said just to emotionally hurt another person are totally ok now? I mean she detailed place, time, location, etc. all just as a lying metaphor of how awful it is to be around me and I should just pretend it never happened.
I’m glad she’s claiming she’s safe and all...
She. Can’t. Be. Around. Me. I won’t do this dance of emotional blackmail with her. She couldn’t stop for 3 days with all this nonsense.
Nope. No way. Done.
Freida
VIP Member
Yep. Very proud of you. :hug:
Changing4Best
VIP Member
Yes, don't back down. You are doing very well with this.
Friday
Sponsor
Given how you’ve described your friends ...it sounds like they were trying to reassure you that whilst an emotionally blackmailing crazy bitch, she’s not at slash her arms open and “look at what you made me do!” on your front lawn level of crazy. Which was seriously under question. Given her behavior to date.
Less bad? Doesn’t meall all good. She’s still crazier than tits on a fish. And just as welcome.
Good on.
- Post starter
- #57
Justmehere
Sponsor
Yeah. I think they are trying to reassure me. I have to deal with plenty of crazy in my life. I don’t need more! Lol.
This all got under my skin a bit. I keep getting contacted about it. I need them all to just stop.
Thanks for the laugh. ?
This all got under my skin a bit. I keep getting contacted about it. I need them all to just stop.
Damn @Friday. Picturing this made me spit. out. my. tea.
Thanks for the laugh. ?
:sneaky: Because you are sane, JMH.
And needing the crazy to stop and adults behave like adults? Another check for Sane, on that yard stick.
- Post starter
- #59
Justmehere
Sponsor
Aaaaaarrrrrggggghhhhhh!
Ok. I spoke to the top pastor dude. He gets it. On all levels. If it wasn’t for that... I think I’d run screaming. He offered to jump in and resolve it all, and offered to stay back, and see if I could handle it. I asked him to wait. I told him I mostly just needed to make sure I didn’t join a church that was totally wack.
This weekend, I have had multiple people involved in this group tell me I overreacted, she was kidding, crying wolf, making it up, metaphor, etc, etc. They say I need to forgive and just ignore it when it happens again. Why is this even being said?! Are they in her head? No? Then shut up. Let her be in her own mind thankyouverymuch. Don’t tell me what she really means. Stop it...
Yesterday while on the phone with the guy leader of the group, someone from the retirement home up the street was wandering down the street and came up on my lawn (I didn’t see them until it was too late) and slapped me in the face and threw my phone in the street.
This. Is. My. Life.
I'm not even kidding.
They later explained it was because they didn’t like my dog (who was as far away as she could be at the end of her leash.) Thankfully, I had the presence of mind to pause and ask her a few questions, and she was clearly confused about the year but was able to tell me where she lived... I contacted the retirement home who ran down to get her and etc, and said they were trying to get her into higher care and so on, thanked me, said if I wanted to call police they would support that and on and on... I didn't. They already had a plan to help her out.
I texted the guy to let him know what’s going on, and that I can’t talk any further - and he texts me back to ask if he should come help (no) and then about how I need to forgive the woman who slapped me in the face. I explained how I handled it. He said it was a good response. Duuuuude. This is a great example. I took action that helped everyone involved be safer. That. Is. Not. Unforgiveness.
Why don’t they just do their style of "forgiveness" about my “unforgiveness”?!?!?
Just. Ignore. It.
And like come on. If strangers are like throwing my phone in the street... maybe that’s a sign from God to shut up! I mean. It’s funny.
Anyhow. Back to the crazy. He had said don’t know if she called me names and screamed at me. She stated in writing on email that she did those things! She does not deny it! Name-calling-woman and I actually both agree we shouldn’t do this group together right now. But somehow everyone else is getting their damn undies in a bind and trying to righteously tell me I am in the wrong and need to forgive. Disagree all you want, I can’t do all this. Beyond me. Not about forgiveness. It about the fact that I am human. With limits.
I told them all... “please no more talking about this. Don’t contact me again about it. I’m done.” The one I trusted called at 11pm last night to tell me she agreed. Good boundary. Annnnnd.... 60 seconds later she’s lecturing me: “personal attacks are sometimes ok, I mean sometimes they are feedback, everyone is allowed to give feedback and sometimes that will mean personal attacks and name calling.” She then went on about how she's not even sure it happened. WHAT. THE. Ok. Look. Name caller actually admits it to everyone in writing and you tell me you don't think it happened and you are calling me at 11pm at night to tell me this? What the heck?
What is wrong with these people?!
I broke down. I screwed up. I own that. I yelled (not ok), “Stop it! I have had enough! We teach freaking kindergartners not to act this way! Leave me alone about it! I have had enough!” I was holding ice on my swollen lip. (Elderly women can sometimes hit harder than one would expect.) Who knows how well my words came across anyhow.
This friend told me she would not be yelled at and did what I should have done - and swiftly ended the call. I totally spun out on text and told them I was blocking them all - in about 400 words. It really would have taken about 10. Or none.
My head is spinning. What did I just walk into?! Chill and leave the crazy girl alone.
Church was interesting. The guy wanted to talk.... "Thank you but no. We have a fundamental theological disagreement that can not be resolved by talking at this time."
Oddly. That worked. They have left it alone. Well. I guess I don't know if they have left it alone, as if they are trying to contact me, they can't. I've blocked them every which way... I imagine it will all melt away as they continue to leave me alone. I'm not sure why I feel so hurt and why this got under my skin. I feel like I just fell into a vortex. Took the wrong pill. Went down a crazy-making rabbit hole, and pulled myself out. Not sure what to do about it any further. I don't have family, and losing friends sucks. I'll be fine. But geez. Did it have to be over this?! I can reconnect later. The door is open on their side. They are adamant about it. But I don't think I'd trust them again. Am I being too distrustful?
Ok. I spoke to the top pastor dude. He gets it. On all levels. If it wasn’t for that... I think I’d run screaming. He offered to jump in and resolve it all, and offered to stay back, and see if I could handle it. I asked him to wait. I told him I mostly just needed to make sure I didn’t join a church that was totally wack.
This weekend, I have had multiple people involved in this group tell me I overreacted, she was kidding, crying wolf, making it up, metaphor, etc, etc. They say I need to forgive and just ignore it when it happens again. Why is this even being said?! Are they in her head? No? Then shut up. Let her be in her own mind thankyouverymuch. Don’t tell me what she really means. Stop it...
Yesterday while on the phone with the guy leader of the group, someone from the retirement home up the street was wandering down the street and came up on my lawn (I didn’t see them until it was too late) and slapped me in the face and threw my phone in the street.
This. Is. My. Life.
I'm not even kidding.
They later explained it was because they didn’t like my dog (who was as far away as she could be at the end of her leash.) Thankfully, I had the presence of mind to pause and ask her a few questions, and she was clearly confused about the year but was able to tell me where she lived... I contacted the retirement home who ran down to get her and etc, and said they were trying to get her into higher care and so on, thanked me, said if I wanted to call police they would support that and on and on... I didn't. They already had a plan to help her out.
I texted the guy to let him know what’s going on, and that I can’t talk any further - and he texts me back to ask if he should come help (no) and then about how I need to forgive the woman who slapped me in the face. I explained how I handled it. He said it was a good response. Duuuuude. This is a great example. I took action that helped everyone involved be safer. That. Is. Not. Unforgiveness.
Why don’t they just do their style of "forgiveness" about my “unforgiveness”?!?!?
Just. Ignore. It.
And like come on. If strangers are like throwing my phone in the street... maybe that’s a sign from God to shut up! I mean. It’s funny.
Anyhow. Back to the crazy. He had said don’t know if she called me names and screamed at me. She stated in writing on email that she did those things! She does not deny it! Name-calling-woman and I actually both agree we shouldn’t do this group together right now. But somehow everyone else is getting their damn undies in a bind and trying to righteously tell me I am in the wrong and need to forgive. Disagree all you want, I can’t do all this. Beyond me. Not about forgiveness. It about the fact that I am human. With limits.
I told them all... “please no more talking about this. Don’t contact me again about it. I’m done.” The one I trusted called at 11pm last night to tell me she agreed. Good boundary. Annnnnd.... 60 seconds later she’s lecturing me: “personal attacks are sometimes ok, I mean sometimes they are feedback, everyone is allowed to give feedback and sometimes that will mean personal attacks and name calling.” She then went on about how she's not even sure it happened. WHAT. THE. Ok. Look. Name caller actually admits it to everyone in writing and you tell me you don't think it happened and you are calling me at 11pm at night to tell me this? What the heck?
What is wrong with these people?!
I broke down. I screwed up. I own that. I yelled (not ok), “Stop it! I have had enough! We teach freaking kindergartners not to act this way! Leave me alone about it! I have had enough!” I was holding ice on my swollen lip. (Elderly women can sometimes hit harder than one would expect.) Who knows how well my words came across anyhow.
This friend told me she would not be yelled at and did what I should have done - and swiftly ended the call. I totally spun out on text and told them I was blocking them all - in about 400 words. It really would have taken about 10. Or none.
My head is spinning. What did I just walk into?! Chill and leave the crazy girl alone.
Church was interesting. The guy wanted to talk.... "Thank you but no. We have a fundamental theological disagreement that can not be resolved by talking at this time."
Oddly. That worked. They have left it alone. Well. I guess I don't know if they have left it alone, as if they are trying to contact me, they can't. I've blocked them every which way... I imagine it will all melt away as they continue to leave me alone. I'm not sure why I feel so hurt and why this got under my skin. I feel like I just fell into a vortex. Took the wrong pill. Went down a crazy-making rabbit hole, and pulled myself out. Not sure what to do about it any further. I don't have family, and losing friends sucks. I'll be fine. But geez. Did it have to be over this?! I can reconnect later. The door is open on their side. They are adamant about it. But I don't think I'd trust them again. Am I being too distrustful?
Changing4Best
VIP Member
Since it was clearly in writing that she admitted to calling you names, you are not at all in the wrong. You are in the right. You are especially right about us all teaching first graders this kind of crap is not ok!!! I agree. What is with these people?
Forgiveness comes in many forms. One can simply pray for the person, nothing more need be done, especially if there is ANY kind of abuse involved, which there is. Good Heavens, would they expect a battered wife to "forgive" by going back to the husband again? (Unless he has maybe gotten extensive treatment, and even then, we don't expect her to take him back or forgive him in that manner if she does not want to). Just my thoughts....
Forgiveness comes in many forms. One can simply pray for the person, nothing more need be done, especially if there is ANY kind of abuse involved, which there is. Good Heavens, would they expect a battered wife to "forgive" by going back to the husband again? (Unless he has maybe gotten extensive treatment, and even then, we don't expect her to take him back or forgive him in that manner if she does not want to). Just my thoughts....
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