Am I Too Dependent On My Therapist?

[bluedressinggown]

Thanks for repling @joeylittle . It is a terrible feeling. Especially as I now feel like there is no point in the therapy. I refuse to do those stupid painful exercises because now I just feel like actually he doesn't care a less if I do them anyway.

I'd rather just forget about the whole thing and never see him again. I know therapy is for my benifit. I just feel like its easier to suppress the feelings instead of try and work on them when it seems pointless to work on them anyway. I was starting to feel like the therapist was really important but I guess the bond has been broken and I just can't be bothered now. I feel like I'm kind of alone with it so I might as well just get on with things.

 

[Lucycat]

I think that the relationship with the therapist is terribly important. Without trust I could never have told him the things that I have. I needed to trust that he would keep it confidential, not laugh, treat me with respect, be available when he said he would. All these things may be *expected* in therapy, but I had no prior knowledge or expectation of therapy so had to trust that he would be true to his word.

If I did not feel attuned to my T I don't think I would have believed in the process. He lent me books and explained what he wanted to do - EMDR and sensorimotor psychotherapy. I absolutely needed to understand these theories and approaches before I could put my life in his hands.

Initially, when I was in crisis I was in very frequent contact with T. Yes, daily at times. Now I have moved on. I still see him but at varying intervals. It might be weekly or nothing for 3 months - whatever I need. I do feel attached and dependent on him, but I don't feel that to be unhealthy. I understand that he is my T not my friend, and I respect that - but he will always hold a very special place in my heart because he got me through some very hard times and literally saved my life - and marriage for that matter.

I respect my T, his skill and his knowledge. I will miss him when he moves away or retires, but I hope to have ended therapy before such times. As he is the one who made and then drove me to an appointment with a psychiatrist, and sat beside me as I was diagnosed with an attachment disorder in addition to the CPTSD label I already had, I find it amusing that I consider myself to have an attachment to T. However I suspect that he would not be in the slightest bit surprised as we have worked hard on attachment and what it means.

 

[Knak]

Hi All....

I'm a little nervous to post about this, but it's been weighing on my mind so I thought I...

I have been seeing my EMDR therapist for 7 years and it is the only therapy that has helped me after seeing dozens of others for talk therapy on and off over 37 years. I am too afraid of rejection to bother her between sessions so put up with a lot of excruciating pain.
I am finally recognizing reality and don't have the constant mental nagging, but I live in a toxic situation so hope I can continue to improve enough to leave but she will retire in a couple years.
As things came up I often felt like running away or wished I could die and became more self destructive in my situation. I don't believe I could find someone who could help me like she has but I don't dwell on it because I feel secure with her now.
I became able to trust a couple of friends to help me but could never depend on them like her.

 

[Leigh925]

@TimeToHeal i totally understand. I meet with my therapist twice a week and often email in between sessions. Although in the last few months my emails have been less and less. I was just wondering if you could elaborate on your "reality cards". I haven't heard of that before. I save all of my therapists emails and often read them for comfort. I also have things we have written in session together that I keep in my purse. I am just wondering what kinds of things are written....if you don't mind me asking. It sounds like something that might be helpful to me.