Am I Too Needy - Cry For Help

[who am i kim]

When I need help there is no one there. Am I going about this all wrong? I do not want to burden my daughter yet again. Hubby is usually busy or away when I get this depressed. I have no one else to turn too. So I try an contact T. But this comes across to me as that I am crying for help and I know that there are people worse off than me. Also that I am a weak person. It is like I am a no one and I have always been a no one, a number in among the many. I was left to slip through the cracks forgotten by all even my own parents could not see my cry. I find when it comes down to it you are all alone in this world when it comes to the crunch. So why do we bother? When I deeply depressed my family do not exist either. Nothing does. I have no feelings and I live in the fog. (Dissociation). Have for a very long time. What are your thoughts? I am at the beginning of starting opening up the mess inside of me with P doc. And every time I see her I get deep depression afterwards.

If none of this makes sense sorry. I tried.

 

[71nothing]

This makes perfect sense to me. It's so hard for me to reach out for help for the same reasons. It's like I'm surrounded by people yet completely alone. I see them all through a fog as if they aren't real.

I've found my T to be the only one I can reach out to during times like these. She is the only one who knows the whole picture and can help talk me through whatever is going on. Sometimes it takes weeks and seems unending. She's encouraged me to create a support system outside of therapy but I have nobody I trust enough to do that. Plus, when I would need to access that support system most my mind would make it impossible to do so.

I also fear crying for help. In two years I've only called my T for help twice when situations totally out of my control overwhelmed me. I understand not wanting to appear weak. For me showing weakness makes me feel vulnerable and that makes me feel unsafe.

 

[amcen]

Kim,

I can see that you are feeling completely down. I have the feeling that emotions burried since years (tens of years?) are beginning to come out thanks to your work with your doc. This is so tough but also so positive. To me that is a proof of huge courage and strength from you, surely not weakness!

About the fact that you shouldn't feel so down while there are people worse off than you, I don't agree. Stories are not to be compared. Feelings are overwhelming for you and that is what counts, nothing else, and there is no shame or guilty to feel about that. Please don't fall in the "I should not...", "It is my fault if..." and "I am not worth..." trap, it is an endless and useless hole.

My heart is with you, we quite often chat and you know what are my feelings and thoughts. You have many friends in this forum who can offer you their shoulder to rest on for a while, I am just one of them.

Please forgive me if I said any hurting word in any way, that would have been so much unwillingly.

Warm hugs to you if you accept them :hug:

 

[Hashi]

Contacting your therapist is a sign of strength, not a sign of weakness. It's a big step forward, and one you should give yourself credit for. It means you've come out of the fog a little bit, enough to know you're a person, and need support, and that's valid.

I'm sorry you're having such a very difficult time. Please do contact your T, if you have that arrangement with them. I think your T would prefer to know and have the chance to support you.

Sending you good wishes.

 

[SNS]

I hate asking for help too. I think we have all taken great steps coming here though, especially going to see a T. You are not weak.