Am I Weak If I Take The Pill

[Nighthawk]

I have been on Neurontin for about a month now. It took great convincing that this would be helpful and that I would be no weaker a person if I took these pills. Within a month I went from 300mg to 1800 mg a day and sometimes more. Yesterday the Dr. prescribed Zoloft, told me he thinks it will be helpful. I guess the bottom line is I felt in some control for so long and recent history has put me in a downward spiral. I have been staring at the bottle for two days and now have to convince myself it is okay to take more meds.

I fear the unknown that is hidden within me and will the meds let more worms out of there cans.

Nighthawlk

 

[anni]

Hi Nighthawk,

If your question really is 'Am I somehow a weak person if I take these pills the doctor prescribed?', well, it's only my opinion but do not see how you would be. Some awful trauma brought you here to a PTSD forum, or probably would not be here. Some inherent strength of you OWN got you through those traumas, and no doubt now you are doing your best to seek healing through treatment. Fighting whatever it is you are fighting is the great strength here- you've already shown it. If you feel, yourself, that you trust your doctor, and they are doing their best to help you heal, then the medication is merely a tool for healing-taking it is not indicative of weakness.

If you're worried as to how Zoloft may affect you, esp with Neurontin, maybe Google some information on it? I think Zoloft just helps correct your chemistry back to where it should be. Traumas can knock it terribly off balance, and it can require something to get itself back in order. I use Zoloft at a very low dose because it's what works for my personal chemistry. Everyone is different, though.

I just wished to reply because at the very least, it doesn't seem at all like you need to be concerned you would be 'weak' if you decided to use Zoloft as a tool.

I hope you have some peace with this soon, and take care,

Anni

 

[Nighthawk]

Anni, thanks for your reply. I am not the best with words these days it is hard for me to get them out, but I think you got it. I am trying to get a hold of myself . I guess I have grown in one way or another, at least I went and got the prescription. I have been against assistance with drugs for years. My recent scare with Cancer has awakened issues I thought I had coping skills for and had somewhat put to rest. All of these issues are back out of the closet haunting me and causing mass panic and fear on a daily basis again. I just have not been this bad in years.

Thanks again
Nighthawlk

 

[Grama-Herc]

As one who is on Zoloft and several other meds, they do not make you look weak. They make you look strong. You are having problems and facing them head on. That takes an inner strength. We sometimes forget that our trauma did change the chemistry of our brains and all the meds do is help create a more chemically balanced brain and a less stressful life.

 

[anni]

Hi again Nighthawk,

It would be awfully, awfully hard trying to contain solely the PTSD manifestions without the added baggage of cancer-I do think it would be completely 'normal' not to wish to go back to some previous illness in your mind by having to take one more darn med. As normal as anything can be in that situation-perhaps the human brain just isn't wired in the first place to deal with so MUCH. I'd probably rebel a bit too, in that situation, I think. Hopefully you can give yourself a much needed break and are able to view all this as a tool-and possibly temporary. That chemistry thing can also even itself out sometimes, given the chance to operate properly for a bit.

Gosh I hope you're doing some better today. I do know that when I'm rattled to the core, being here just for plain old company is pretty darn nice.

Do take care,

Anni

 

[Nighthawk]

Well I started the pills today.
I just have to say that being here on the forum has helped me know that I am not alone in this world.

Thank you,
Nighthawlk

 

[This Ends Now]

Glad you are feeling better about the medication. I know it is a hard decision.

I am not from the school of thought that medication is a sign of weakness either. Maybe its just because so many of my family members have needed it.

My uncle (combat PTSD) refused meds until he was in his 50's. His doctor has a really hard time getting him to take Prozac. If he had started treatment earlier he would have suffered a lot less. Its sad that he still feels the need to defend himself when the topic comes up... especially since I had been hoping he would seek help for years.

I had similar feelings about my mother's decision to take and stay on medication. When she took her meds she was a normal mommy and when she was off them things were very hard on us kids. Even now she only takes them with reluctance and reassurance despite being on disability for PTSD. At least she is getting help now but it still annoys me when she frantically starts bragging about skipping doses and only taking half doses.

I am the exact opposite. I keep everything measured out in 7 day pill planners to make sure I stay on track and I keep a one day supply on me at all times just in case.

The way I look at psych meds is similar to the way I look at most other medication. A diabetic is not weak for taking insulin. A person who has broken a leg is not weak for wearing a cast. A person who has been paralyzed is not weak for using a wheel chair. Since PTSD is a neurological injury taking medication while you recover (or in some cases for life) should not be viewed any differently, but that's just my opinion.

Keep us updated about your progress!

Bet wishes,
Liz

 

[anni]

Hi Nighthawk,

Another person should of course never tell anyone exactly what to do about medications but I'm glad you worked it through your head that this is not any bit of a weakness on your part to take them. I won't re-hash, how stupid and preachy and pompous but you know all the reasons you're not weak. I'm replying again to say perhaps now just keep some communication with yout doctor as to how you're feeling perhaps? It takes a bit to get into one's system and also 'work' and some people have side effects. Mine aren't serious but one drove me up the wall for awhile. I'd get songs stuck in my head. Sigh. They'd never be anything good like The Stones, either-always like a drippy 60's folk song or commercial jingle. If your head is an organic Ipod could it at least feed you 'Jumping Jack Flash' instead of 'Kumbaya'?

You're not alone Nighthawk. It's quite true.

 

[Nighthawk]

I have a call into the doctor about the side effects. I have twitching in my arm and am having trouble concentrating and am jittery. I am sure we will watch it closely. I truly know I am not alone but feel that way on a regular basis. I hope that this will help bring some calm to my storm. Anni I really appreciate your checking in and thanks for the giggle for the day. I't sure would be nice if they would give you a remote to control the drugs.

Thanks

Nighthawlk

 

[seedling]

Nighthawlk,

Just wanted to let you know I've been reading the thread and thinking of you.

Take care.

 

[anni]

Hi again,

Hee- it can turn one into a hypochondriac in your head can't it? I STILL blame every single twitch and tingle on the Zoloft-it's generally wrong but my doc just laughs ( nicely ) and tells me he'd rather have me check in with him than not over whatever it is. At 52 it's going to be a long list if I keep this up so probably should stop it now! The vigilence, not the Zoloft. Think it's just fine after ?? years. Cool you have one of those good docs too. I finally found one who listened when I told him I thought the dose was too high at one point-the jitters would not go away. I know from reading here in the forum some people's chemistry require higher doses for correct effect so always think it's just plain safer when docs keep such a good eye on their patients. Someday they'll hand us that remote! Ha! There's a great invention waiting to happen!

If you ever want a giggle in the forum ( I do once in awhile when need to leave UP ) check out some of the funny threads-or threads which also have funny content. 'List your joke to lighten PTDS' (brighten PTSD? Forget) and 'You know you have PTSD when'. There are some fall-down hysterically funny people here!

Thanks again for the friend thing-kind!

Anni

 

[Nighthawk]

I am much calmer today in general. The panic has somewhat lifted. I can only hope that this will help me and that it will be short term. I am not sure if I should be grateful for the onslaught of memories that have flooded my brain in the last few weeks but they seem to keep coming. I had a memory yesterday during a period of time I don't remember. I want to stop the onslaught but I know I need to process the information.

Thanks again,

Nighthawlk