Amilsupride??...

[Maggiemay]

I finally saw psychiatrist yesterday. It was ok I guess, but feeling a lil fobbed off.

She belittled my concerns over dissociation and said they were just a symptom - doesn't seem good enough to me, they're pretty debilitating for me :( And then when I asked her what is going on at the moment and what's wrong with me, she was very vague. Apparently as I'm already BPD, I'm on the bipolar spectrum already. But my moods are more than purely reactive - I have clear episodes throughout my life of depression and milder hypo mania. This is the most severe the mania has ever got and the longest it's lasted. So I guess I flit from BPD mood instability to bipolar 2? I don't actually get it... And then add in all the PTSD symptoms and trauma - I wonder why professionals call me complex!! Hahaha! ;)

She's taking me off quetiapine and mitazipine... Eeeeekkkkk!!! I'm shitting myself and don't want my mood to dip or flashbacks to return :( She's going to do it slowly (& I have zopiclone to use whilst it's happening to at least try and get some sleep/calmness as I'm constantly on the go and getting only about 3/4 hours sleep...

She's then going to start me on amilsupride?? Never heard of it?? It's an atypical antipsychotic like quetiapine so I should tolerate it... It sounds like it's supposed to be some kind of wonder drug and will fix all my symptoms? Hmm... I'm just rather cautious as know nothing about it. Anyone else on it? Is it any good? Does it work? Does it help PTSD symptoms e.g. Flashbacks, hyper vigilance and nightmares? Does it let you sleep? Does it help with mania but also depression? Urgh!!

Thanks :)

 

[Finding Maeve]

Totally appreciate your post.

I saw a new psychiatrist Monday, waited an hour and a half to see him, and when I did, he was at least 85. Not that there's anything wrong with an older doctor, but I was taken aback. He did not get me at all. I don't know if he wasn't listening (or maybe hard of hearing?) but I told him I was very depressed and sleeping all the time, and he suggested I go on something for hypo mania that would calm me down and put me on the "down side." I reiterated my problems, and he then suggested Ritalin for ADD. When I protested again, he told me if I could tell him what I wanted to be on, he would prescribe it to me, and that I was a complex case that would take a long time to heal. He finally wrote me a script for a med for seizures that sometimes works as a mood stabilizer that is the EXACT same thing as the med I'm currently on (Lamictal.) (I looked it up as he did not tell me this.) He wrote me new scripts for the meds I'm currently on, Lamictal and Fluvoxamine.

The pharmacy called me the next day to tell me that the insurance company wanted to talk with him before paying for expensive Fluvoxamine. I was already down to one pill. The pharmacy faxed him twice, and SURPRISE! no call back to the pharmacy. So, I've been out of the med for a week now. I never filled the other mood stabilizer (can't even remember the name now) because why would I only take two of the same med and nothing else. I'm supposed to see him again Monday, but for what? To waste another two hours of my time? I'm not going to bother. I'm too depressed to function thanks to him.

Phew! I really needed to vent that!!!!! If you read all this, THANKS! :eek:

 

[Pencil]

Thank you both for reinforcing my reluctance to go the meds route :D

 

[Finding Maeve]

Uh-oh. That wasn't my intention. It's a scary road to say the least, but over all I would not be functioning without meds. I've had good doctors who knew what they were doing and helped me to live normally, but sometimes it's time for a switch. Perhaps your body gets too used to something or your brain chemistry or life experience changes. I think finding a really good psychiatrist who spends at least half an hour each meeting really listening and not just throwing random meds at you, along with trauma therapy is a huge part of the healing process.

 

[Maggiemay]

*Hugs * chronic sleeper - that doesn't sound good at all! I've seen psychs before when depressed and they're so dismissive - especially as I have BPD diagnosis, am made to feel it's my own fault and I should just snap out of it! Grr!! :(

Pencil - I've been on and off psychtrophic meds for 10 years. I am at a place now where I accept that I actually need them to function - without them my moods all over the places and forever switching, my depression dips so low I become suicidal and self harm, and I get a lot of panic attacks, flashbacks, nightmares, hyper vigilance and non-epileptic seizures... Am an absolute mess without any meds, despite having also been in therapy on and off for 10 years and being incredibly insightful and have a good understanding of myself (even psych yesterday was taken aback with the technical language I used to describe stuff and how much insight I have...)... I'm worried that tapering off mitazipine and quetiapine before starting amilsupride I'm going to become very unwell again :( In many ways I'd rather be like this and manic and restless than depressed... Urgh!!!...

 

[Pencil]

@Maggiemay can't you go to another psychiatrist. Doesn't bode well.

 

[Maggiemay]

Not got much choice - in UK so under NHS. I can't afford to do privately. All rather rubbish. Psych I saw 18 months ago, when referral was 1st made 3 months ago, advised an increase in quetiapine, which is what's triggered this manic episode - grr!! At least she listened I guess and kept throwing the ball back in my court... I'm worried tho to put it mildly. Everything may be ok and I'm worrying over nothing, but it's so hit and miss with changing meds, complicated by my body being super sensitive - many anti depressants make me unwell, causing acid reflux and sinus tachycardia, both have never gone away... :( I'm seeing her again supposedly in 10 weeks so let's see what happens... And to to if off whilst going through all this upheaval I'm hardly going to see therapist due to bank holidays and her being away... *sigh* I'm just going to have to muddle through somehow....

 

[Maggiemay]

Feeling even more fobbed off... :,(

Had a phone all from psych's secretary this afternoon... She wanted her to warn me one of the side effects is psychomotor agitation and it'll go away in 2 weeks if I stick with it... Grrrrr!!!! She obviously didn't get how much I'm already suffering with not being able to sit still and being constantly on the move... How could she not realise this when I was moving the whole hour I saw her for??? I went wanting something to calm me down and stop the agitation, not something that's going to make it worse!!! :,( How does she know it'll stop in 2 weeks? I don't have a good history with psychometric drugs - I'm very sensitive to them, which I did point out to her, but she obviously yet again didn't listen. So, she's taking me off 2 drugs that for the last 18 months have been a wonder cure for me (until this manic episode began when they tried to mess around with dose...) to go onto a drug that'll aggregate my problems???!! What planet is she on?

I also specifically asked her to send me a copy of her report, so she's not talking about me behind my back (slight paranoia, but also curiosity and inquisitive nature).... When I spoke to her secretary, I asked if my Doctor had received it (which she had) and if my copy had been put in the post. Apparently there was no record that I wanted a copy... Luckily secretary was lovely and said she would post me a copy as I'd asked... I'm entitled to know what's going on with my care!!! Hopefully it'll turn up before I see my doctor on Thursday.

I tried to made appointment to see him on Fri but receptionist said he had no appointments, and advised I phoned to talk to him tomorrow rather than see him. He then also rang me today, and left a message, saying he wanted to see me as he's received the letter and there's a change in medication. He said that if he had no appointments to ask to be added on. So, I phoned up the surgery and spoke to one of the receptionists (who are usually lovely!) and asked again if he had any appointments. He had a couple, however I'm working Tues-Thurs 8-5.30 so I couldn't make any of them. I stressed that I needed to see him as he'd specially phoned me and asked me to make an appointment and what he said about being added on. She got all flustered saying she couldn't do it - as if I was lying to her. It wasn't until she took my name and logged in that she backtracked, and put me in for Thurs at 6 (and then had to get the last word in saying that I may have to wait - I DON'T CARE!!!)

Feeling very worried and unsettled as to what the next few weeks have in store with all these drug changes... I want things to settle, not get worse. I have a job and need to be at work. I only started in September and had 4 months off long term sick last year in my previous job... I just can't let anyone down... :(