I have an old diary at: Link Removed
but here's an update...
I'm happily living in an apartment with my daughter. Her father moved to Atlanta. He isn't pay child support but recently paid a lump sum to cover all the owed amount because they took his license away. And now he's back to not paying again. I have cut him off back in March and recently started seeing someone new. He's very nice. Work is stressful. I'm lead teacher. Or, was. As of tomorrow, the school is closing my classroom due to not as many kids being enrolled, and they didn't tell me. So I'm going to just be a floater, going from room to room, and no longer a lead teacher at this school. I've been upset and crying off and on for a few days and now going to apply at a new place. I'm very depressed about the school's decision to close my class.
My PTSD has been pretty good for a while now, hence no updates, but the last week or so I've been very jumpy again. A bug scared me and made me jump, then I stepped on a cheerio and jumped, then I jumped at the sound of putting a spoon the sink. Then I jump when I see something falling about to hit the ground. And I jump with any bang/crash sound. It's exhausting. Probably triggered by external stress? Or might be the season. Even though I haven't been thinking about the rapes, my body may be remembering that summer is a rough time? I don't know. I just know I'm tired.
My daughter is 1 1/2 now. Walking, talking, blowing kisses, and feisty as hell.
We went to visit family in California in March/April for 2 weeks...it is way more chaotic than I remember. I'm glad to not live there anymore, especially so close to my rapists and away from family stress.
Anything else? Hmmmm... to be continued.
but here's an update...
I'm happily living in an apartment with my daughter. Her father moved to Atlanta. He isn't pay child support but recently paid a lump sum to cover all the owed amount because they took his license away. And now he's back to not paying again. I have cut him off back in March and recently started seeing someone new. He's very nice. Work is stressful. I'm lead teacher. Or, was. As of tomorrow, the school is closing my classroom due to not as many kids being enrolled, and they didn't tell me. So I'm going to just be a floater, going from room to room, and no longer a lead teacher at this school. I've been upset and crying off and on for a few days and now going to apply at a new place. I'm very depressed about the school's decision to close my class.
My PTSD has been pretty good for a while now, hence no updates, but the last week or so I've been very jumpy again. A bug scared me and made me jump, then I stepped on a cheerio and jumped, then I jumped at the sound of putting a spoon the sink. Then I jump when I see something falling about to hit the ground. And I jump with any bang/crash sound. It's exhausting. Probably triggered by external stress? Or might be the season. Even though I haven't been thinking about the rapes, my body may be remembering that summer is a rough time? I don't know. I just know I'm tired.
My daughter is 1 1/2 now. Walking, talking, blowing kisses, and feisty as hell.
We went to visit family in California in March/April for 2 weeks...it is way more chaotic than I remember. I'm glad to not live there anymore, especially so close to my rapists and away from family stress.
Anything else? Hmmmm... to be continued.
