An Observation About This Forum

[Awakening]

I should precept this post by saying I have not being diagnosed with PTSD; I have been diagnosed with PTS (even though my traumas are quite old) amongst some other things.

I haven't been on this forum for awhile but what I notice coming back is there alot of talk about "PTSD" as though PTSD is a person, a separate entity, a stronger identity seems to be given to PTSD then the actual person posting it!

I never noticed this before, but I think it has probably been this way all along, except I was into the 'disease' the 'symptoms' and not so into getting down to the actual traumas. I think I also had a persecution complex, stuck myself in the victim role, because to not be a victim meant I wouldnt get the attention & sympathy I so desperately craved.

Not sure what my point is really, and realise I am rambling, but does anyone agree, disagree or can relate?

 

[anni]

Oh, perhaps just as an identifying factor. It may be part of us, but it isn't 'us'- by necessity must be held apart and maybe referred to as it's own entity however creepy that sounds as I just wrote it. If it's singled out and identified, PTSD can be kind of held up against the dam wall-examined, dissected, spot lighted, compartmentalized, healing beams cast upon it and then stuffed back in its box and lived with until our next need to pull the carcass into the light of day for reexamination. That's here in the forum for a lot of us, most living 'out here' in silence on the subject.

 

[intothelight]

I haven't been on this forum for awhile but what I notice coming back is there alot of talk about "PTSD" as though PTSD is a person, a separate entity, a stronger identity seems to be given to PTSD then the actual person posting it!

Awakening, that is an interesting observation. For me, I feel that I have lost who I am, and on many days feel like a jumbled bunch of nerves, symptoms, confusions, failures, and all of the other lovely gifts PTSD imparts. It seems that people come here when they can no longer live under the guise "I am fine", and finally are confronting this disorder. Since no one is PTSD, it becomes a "separate" thing that is set aside to be battled, understood, and conquered so that "self" is present again.

Sometimes I wonder if PTSD is not a part of who I am and I have to find some level of acceptance?