Analogy: My Ptsd Feels Like...

[NarcSis]

a million piece puzzle that fell apart and I have to find the pieces and put them back into their proper place...it's slow work, but I'll eventually finish this puzzle, maybe use some tape to hold it together this time???? :)

 

[heidi]

Heated hammered metal.

 

[zoeflower]

I'm Christian, so it feels like a hellish case of demonic possession

 

[sea]

Like I'm trapped in a rusty room with two giant Pyramidheads coming at me.

 

[BloomInWinter]

Like a one-way visiblity cloak that allows everyone to see me and obscures me from myself.

 

[KP the nut]

Today it feels like a record or dvd stuck on the same section, replaying the same thing over and over and over again.

 

[bravepoint]

I always feel like I'm treading water. It get's so exhausting, but I have to keep treading so I don't drown. Many of the statements here I can relate to. I also feel like the pieces of broken glass are everywhere. I don't know where all the pieces are and they are small pieces that I step on (barefooted) at any moment without warning. They open a wound that I have to attend to. The memories that flash in are that real and that acute. I've found that sometimes I can push the thoughts down for a short time to accomplish something at that moment, but know that shortly I have to let the thoughts just run. They are that persistent, just as a wound from a broken glass wouldn't go away by ignoring it. Because of this, every step I take is with the knowledge that I might step on a broken glass. Walking out the door is courage when you have PTSD. I walk out the door and it makes me stronger.

 

[Queen Boudica]

I have been so hurt by those who were supposed to love me and protect me, even with the many flaws I had. But they didn't. They found every flaw and pecked at them and ripped them open to a big raw wounds all over my body. And they left me slowly dying of my wounds in the mud.

Those wounds get bloodier and pussier and are turning gangrenous. Like a soldier in no man's land, no-one will rescue me, I am too much of risk. If I want to be saved I have to drag myself out of the mud and crawl to the next trench.

But I am dying, I'm not sure I will make it to that next trench. Every move I make is agony, every move I make, opens up those wounds even more.

The machine guns are firing from both directions over me and they are throwing grenades at me too. Even if I get to that trench it could have been taken over by the enemy. They may fix me up for a bit. But then they will execute me for being a soldier on the wrong side of the fight, or perhaps, they will feel sorry for me and put me down because I am just too horribly wounded.

I have to work and work to try and make it right. To try and repair all the wounds. I am trying to suture my own open gaping wounds, with a needle and thread and patch it up with a tiny bandaid.

 

[Barberian]

My PTSD feels like: I have two personalities that are at war with each other. One personality feels at peace with its self and knows it should reign supreme. The other personality can't accept it's past and will do anything to sabotage/assasinate the peaceful personality by constantly bringing up the past in one form or another.

 

[BloomInWinter]

Like I was dangling over the pit and finaally was dropped.

 

[Srain]

Right now my PTSD feels like tug of war..one side is pulling me towards yester-year and into the mouth of hell and death...the other side is pulling towards love and children laughing, my husband, sunshine and possibilities, the unknown.

 

[Steelsoul]

like I am suffocating, or slowly starving my soul. like I am falling and my stomach is in my throat.