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Analogy: My Ptsd Feels Like...

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Like a web that is crushing me. And no matter what anyone says.. not even my logic.. there is doom around the corner and I have to be prepared for it, brace for it, or charge after it. And anyone who tries to talk me out of the danger is CLEARLY blind to it. I'm pretty sure it has got to be a circle of hell all it's own where everyone is evil nothing is safe and I'm alone to face it.

Exactly how I feel!
 
My ptsd feels like this:

There is a creature inside me
She walks with my legs.
A child too long in the womb
She is scaled and hairy.
Gollum-like she squeezes my heart tight to her chest with bony hands.
Tricksy and twisted she pulls on my strings.
A carriage driver she cracks the whip over my shoulders Opening me to the bone.
Like a puppet parody, like Lilliput, I perch on her knee and she speaks with my mouth.

I turn to embrace her, but she seeks only destruction.
 
It feels like I'm repeatedly suddenly without warning lifted and dunked. Again and Again. It used to feel like a winged demon/monster and now it just feels like a lifeless crane.

I was going to answer this question using the exact same words: dunked and dipped. Was surprised to see I already explained it this way a year ago.

Also, it's more like a mechanical machine with a pre-set timer then a lifeless crane.
 
Like I am the "Little Match Girl": Cold, alone, exhausted and desolate. I light a match to try and see and warm myself up; a small glimmer of hope, but then it extinguishes and I am left alone and terrified. So I try again and light another match desperate for that feeling of warmth but, all too soon, it goes out again. I keep lighting those matches until there are no more in the box. I am completely alone, terrified and there is no hope, no warmth; I am left alone to freeze and die slowly in the dark.
 
Like I have survived a huge shipwreck, injured and traumatised, the only survivor. I am swimming alone in the oceon, desperately trying to get to shore, but my swimming skills are so weak, all I can do is tread water.

There is a shark below and he keeps grabbing onto me, tearing at pieces of my flesh and pulling me under. I feel the pain and terror and panic as I swallow water and begin to drown. I don't want to die this way, I want to live and I somehow find the strength to punch that shark in the eye and swim to the surface.

I hope there is land beyond the horizon, but I can't see it. I am so weak and there are ever more sharks swarming below me. But I don't want to die that way. I want to survive.
 
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