Analogy: My Ptsd Feels Like...

[BloomInWinter]

My PTSD feels like I hid my true self under many complex mental defenses until my brain was convinced I was safe to put them all down.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

My ptsd feels like I've gone down the rabbit hole inside the twilight zone.

 

[Changing4Best]

... something that ruined my whole life.

I was taught by my childhood abusers that I was never to say "NO" or be disagreeable. So I never said no or disagreed with anything anyone did to me or said to me in school or at home. I just allowed it all to happen, good bad or indifferent.

Later on in my adult life this caused innumerable problems.

I finally learned how to protest or say no to people (or so I thought), but not as forcefully as I might need to in extreme circumstances. Thus when my boyfriend raped me, I did not put up much or a fight or do more than voice my protest blandly. Of course, it didn't help that he woke me from a sound sleep!

After that, since he'd fought me and won, I never tried to stop him. I did try to leave him, but I was financially dependent upon him, so this was not a concerted effort either.

Finally I did run away from him. Then later, I really ran away from him by moving 600 miles away from him.

None the less, I am on Social Security Disability now, and my PTSD diagnosis was a big part of my case for receiving it. I have never been able to work for others either, only in the family business, where family could always fill in for me if I was not up to it.

 

[Bill Dickerson]

My Ptsd Feels Like... Losing myself in an never ending confusion of hurts that have taken away my life, personality, and sense of purpose.

 

[holdenmonty]

I remember at the storytellers thing there was a lady that told her story about her childhood sexual trauma and then military sexual trauma and said that PTSD is like a mirror that gets smashed into a bunch of little tiny pieces. Each little piece reminds you reminds you of the trauma.

 

[Changing4Best]

... the rug being pulled out from under me!

 

[holdenmonty]

I was just thinking on how I relate to the song papercut by linkin park so well especially the chorus

It's like I'm paranoid lookin' over my back
It's like a whirlwind inside of my head
It's like I can't stop what I'm hearing within
It's like the face inside is right beneath my skin

 

[Changing4Best]

Ever since I fell a week ago or so, I have an increased fear of falling. I ran after a child whose shoe was untied yesterday screaming "Your shoe is untied, Elenor!" and she said "I know." and continued to run around with a shoe untied! I was so upset! Now I can look at it rationally, but then all I could see was her falling and hurting herself. Kids don't have as far to fall I guess. Ho hum....

 

[seedling]

It's like learning to swim while you're drowning.

Going to therapy and figuring out where it's coming from, what it is, practice coping skills. All with no time to have it stop and wait a minute.

 

[StarChild]

My PTSD feels like a life sentence...

 

[Changing4Best]

My past gobbling up my future!

 

[Gadgie]

For me my PTSD is enemy number one! It's a daily battle for my soul, some days I win, other days it wins?

The battle is a constant one, and I only have so much energy, due to my back injury, which means I only have so much mobility to ration out for each day. So no long walks or exercise, in fact there is not a lot I can do?

The mood swings and flashbacks are a constant reminder of the battle, so I have to make the best of the times in between. I don't have to worry about how other people see me, as I've been totally isolated since my wife passed eight months ago, no visitors or phone calls.

Just me and my arch enemy PTSD, and we don't get along with each other very well, but I do win some days!