Thanks Tammy. I may be PMing you some of my dream content, just because I am really cautious with worrying that it could trigger others. I don't want to say anything that could trigger you either, so I'll be sure not to share bad nightmares or anything. Lately I haven't been getting much, if any, sleep, because the stress and anxiety is so high that every hour on the hour I have to get up and check the house- turn on all the lights, check all closets and make sure no one is hiding, do rounds of the house basically, make sure all windows and doors are locked, make sure the stove is unlocked and small electrical appliances like the toaster are unplugged, etc... so haven't been having many dreams that I can remember or have written down. I have had some fairly interesting ones in the not too distant past, as soon as I find the dream journal I scribbled them down in, I will type some of them out and post them on this general part of the board as the content isn't that bad, almost funny in some cases. Most of the meanings I've figured out, but always enjoy someone else's view, as sometimes I miss things. I'll stay away from sharing details of my vivid nightmares for now though, since many are quite graphic and vivid, and I don't want anyone including you to feel uncomfortable.
I did have a bizzare dream last night, that I vaugely remember details of. Maybe it was two dreams, though it really seemed like they were connected... the first part of the dream had to do with a petty officer in the Navy that I was always on good terms with shipping off to go on tour. I felt really sad about her going on tour and leaving, and she told me this right before she was leaving, like just a day or somethinig before. I haven't spoken to her in a while, but have been thinking about her lately. Have also been preparing to go in to a residential treatment center myself, and that may have something to do with it also.... somehow it transitioned to me being in session with my therapist. The session was one that was taking place last Friday. I never saw her last Friday though. She said at the end of the session she wanted me to come on Tuesday, and if I couldn't do that then she couldn't see me at all anymore- and that pissed me off because she knew that I was taking a final on that Tuesday, and in the session in my dream we had talked about how I could only come on Fridays anyway, since this 2 to 3 times a week of seeing her, plus the same amount of seeing my doctor, was getting too expensive for me. And then she started acting passive-agressive in some ways, like my mom used to be, and then somehow I ended up going to Boston- one of the few places in the country that feels safe for me to be, where I feel like I can just be accepted and be myself. A really strong feeling that stood out during the therapy part of the dream was feeling like a little child, and also feeling rejected. A strong feeling that stood out during the Navy part of the dream, was feeling like there was a piece of me missing. A really specific piece too, like if I were to be a human jigsaw puzzle, it would have been a piece up near my chest area, not necessarily my heart per say, but around that area... that part was sort of strange.
I feel like there is some symbolism in the dreams, that I'll post more about after I hear your feedback... I don't think all dreams have hidden meaning, a lot may but certainly not all, but before I give too many details of the dreams and my experience of it, I wanted to see what you think.
