And Then They Will Hate You

[James B.]

The Genius Of The Crowd by Charles Bukowski

there is enough treachery, hatred violence absurdity in the average
human being to supply any given army on any given day

and the best at murder are those who preach against it
and the best at hate are those who preach love
and the best at war finally are those who preach peace

those who preach god, need god
those who preach peace do not have peace
those who preach love do not have love

beware the preachers
beware the knowers
beware those who are always reading books
beware those who either detest poverty
or are proud of it
beware those quick to praise
for they need praise in return
beware those who are quick to censor
they are afraid of what they do not know
beware those who seek constant crowds for
they are nothing alone
beware the average man the average woman
beware their love, their love is average
seeks average

but there is genius in their hatred
there is enough genius in their hatred to kill you
to kill anybody
not wanting solitude
not understanding solitude
they will attempt to destroy anything
that differs from their own
not being able to create art
they will not understand art
they will consider their failure as creators
only as a failure of the world
not being able to love fully
they will believe your love incomplete
and then they will hate you
and their hatred will be perfect

like a shining diamond
like a knife
like a mountain
like a tiger
like hemlock

their finest art
******************************

Thanks for all your support and help, everyone. TIme for me to move on. I will miss many of you. And, this hurts, but it's clear I need to put my health first. Thank you for everything. And best wishes on your path to a better life.

Sincerely,
James B.

 

[cherryblossom]

Sorry to hear you are leaving us, but I understand that we all have to move on.
Take very good care of yourself :)
CB

 

[anni]

I'm sorry- I know that poem too. It sounds as if you believe something happened here which made you unwelcome? I would like to *just* please ask if this is the case ( and of course you need to put your health first ) perhaps take a moment to process your value versus other's opinion. I sometimes feel 'something', ride it out/through-whatever- and am still here. Alot of times there's been my own reactivity exacerbating the problem-not helpful but my own dignity has won out in the end, you know. Yours is enourmous.

Did you perhaps work too much and frazzle yourself? I saw a ton of activity, did you not give yourself a break ( like we all do not sometimes) ?

It's sometimes very. very hard living with one's antennae out all over the place. 'Sometimes'. What the h*ll am I saying- always-it's ALWAYS hard, we just kind of get used to it. If you have to leave for your health-so do understand but if there's anyway you can step back, breath, have some personal healing time so whatever it is doesn't hurt so much I kind of wish you would. Maybe what-it-is has been deliberate, maybe the result of someone just being wrapped up in their own pain and not watching where they're stepping-as in on whose nerve endings? I seriously have zero idea 'it could be me', but having said that, my PTSD head HAS to say that, like the worried little worm it is. I've been a tad too wrapped up in my own nerve endings lately to notice various nuances of other's dynamics lately, but please do know that when I can force these aside of course have seen the plethora of work you've been achieving here. It's incomprehensible to me, like most technical 'stuff' but identifiable as work all the same!

This is long, when you possibly desire simply to say 'bye, but there's a ton of identifiable pain in that poem, so wished to at least address it. Heal well, but you know how to do that, and take care,

Anni

 

[Nicolette]

A very powerful poem James. I am sincerely disappointed that you are not only standing down from your moderator job but leaving the forum. Wishing you all the best.

I normally would say more but I have heeded the words of your poem so I just want to show genuine disappointment at your choice while respecting it.

 

[intothelight]

James,

Take care of yourself. I will miss you.

ITL

 

[Nighthawk]

I am truly sorry you are leaving the forum. I wish you the best and really good luck with that Monkey we have spoken about.

I will miss you
NH

 

[PTSDT]

James, You are leaving. This poem said everything I needed to hear today about all I've gone through. I wish you would just stay and PM people if you don't want to be public here.

 

[Sammy]

James, I will honestly miss your presence on this site. Take care of yourself.

 

[AdamAnt]

Sorry to see this James. I know you've worked so hard, and I know that the people here have been a catalyst for you...isn't there a way to turn back the hands? Maybe you don't need the extra load of being a mod. Maybe that was taking away from you working on yourself. I think many would agree with me that it's far more important from our standpoint to watch you grow and heal than to see you take on a role of responsibility. Find a way?

 

[NIKI]

I am so sorry to hear this James! I think taking on the moderator job may have been to much. I will miss all your wonderful advice and your support. You know what is best for you and if you have to leave then that is what you need to do. I will truely miss you. As always I wish the very best for you....my good friend!

 

[becvan]

Good luck James and be proud of yourself for putting yourself first.

bec

 

[rjtransient]

James,

You will be missed. I'm not completely sure what led up to this decision, but given your last post, I can hazard a guess. You've helped a lot of people. You seem to have found your niche, but maybe you overextended yourself? Your own health comes first, always. Be well.