And Triggers On The Hour, Every Hour. Back To You Bob.

[Healing1129]

Hey everyone,

I am a psych grad student so PTSD is naturally mentioned in classes. It was a pretty bad trigger for me when I first started last year in the fall, but I feel I have adjusted and desensitized myself pretty well (with the amazing help of my therapist).

What is still annoying is that one of my classes brings in vets suffering from PTSD almost every week. That is hard to deal with because it's someone's story, it makes it real, and I can relate on so many levels even though my PTSD is based on emotional abuse, rather than military trauma. I either get nightmares, as I did the first time a vet came in, or lately, I get irritable/depressed/anxious/all of the above the day after. Today, it was irritability. I am trying to stop my irritability on its tracks before it snowballs for the rest of the day.

I am very happy that I am improving and making great strides in my recovery, but would anyone be willing to share some tips on handling triggers that you can anticipate every week?

Thanks,
Healing

 

[Suzetig]

Is this something you can discuss with your therapist and/or tutors? The only way I've been able to deal with things that trigger me is to address the underlying trauma, resolving that has pretty much reduced the impact of known triggers. I still get caught by things that trigger me but generally it's things that I've not been aware of previously and unpicking these in therapy has helped a great deal. The only other thing I can suggest is that you practice your grounding skills regularly so that you have a "toolkit" to draw on when you feel yourself being triggered. Part of the problem with things you know are triggering is that you can work yourself into a state in anticipation of being triggered, to practice mindfulness or grounding yourself might head things off at the pass so to speak.

It's a hard one, particularly if you're a psych student - I don't now what you're planning to do with your studies but I'm thinking you'll struggle to practice as a psychologist if other people's stories are triggering for you.

 

[Healing1129]

Yes, I think I need to go more into detail of how this particular trigger has been affecting me when I see my therapist. She also encourages grounding techniques and mindfulness because then I am behind the steering wheel, rather than my illness. I also believe the anticipation of it might work against me, so that is a great point you bring up. I have been generally really open about what triggers me with my therapist. She has brought up anticipation in the past, so it will be worthy to mention it to her again.

I do want to practice as a psychologist, and I am learning how to separate myself a great deal from the client that I am interacting with. It's only been a year since I have been diagnosed with and treated for PTSD, so I think i am doing a fantastic job at this point. I am able to identify my triggers quicker than I used to, recover from them quicker (within a couple-few days), and have less severe responses to the triggers.

I appreciate your concern, but I know that I will be able to pull myself back when certain stories hit close to home by the end of this program, if not sooner. I have made great strides in that area already and went through a one-hour session with a client without being stuck in my head, even though her story hit close to home. I was able to focus on her story and hers alone.

We all have trigger points, whether we suffer from PTSD or not, and I find that my fellow classmates are also realizing what sore spots they will need to identify before interacting with patients. We are all encouraged to seek counseling ourselves, regardless if we suffer from an actual mental illness or not, because it will help us not only resolve our own issues, but help us to be better and healthier practitioners in the future. Our future clients deserve a level-headed and well-balanced therapist!

I want to tackle my triggers as effectively as I can so I just wanted a different perspective, not necessarily an epiphany. I find it useful to reach out to as many outlets as I can so that I have a well-rounded approach to my recovery.

 

[Suzetig]

I understand the issues around everyone having things they need to deal with in training as a therapist - I made exactly this point on another thread. I'd be lying if I didn't say I have concerns about you practicing when you're still so symptomatic. I year is no time at all in PTSD treatment and to work effectively you need to be able to do so much more than just be able to separate her story from yours - you need to be able to go with her into her pain and sit with her there.

I know you didn't want necessarily comment on your choice if career so feel free to ignore me but the issues you need to deal with having a PTSD diagnosis are quantifiably different from the stuff that people deal with when training as therapists - can you postpone your practice element until you're more fully recovered?

 

[Healing1129]

I'd be lying if I didn't say I have concerns about you practicing when you're still so symptomatic.

What makes you think I am "so symptomatic?" Based on being irritable today? Or having nightmares before? Those nightmares don't make me wake up in fear, or at all, or ruin the rest of the day. They are few and far between (once every few months) and even then, they do not impede my functioning beyond me being mildly annoyed that I didn't have a happier dream. The anxiety has subsided considerably and I have learned to manage a lot of my symptoms before they elevate to an unmanageable level. I came here to brainstorm for additional ideas of ways to effectively, and realistically, speed up my recovery.

I am not in denial, or do not understand the extent of my pathology, if that is what you are hinting at. I know my issues are different from those that don't have PTSD. I am saying that on some level, we as potential therapists, need to deal with our issue, and that it is necessary to do so, in order to be effective practitioners.

I don't appreciate being judged on my career choice when you don't even know my PTSD like my therapist does, or like I do. If she thought it was a concern, she would have mentioned it - we have had this discussion, by the way, in case if you were wondering, on multiple occasions, and continue to have that discussion.

I am a masters student, in my first year. It will be a while before I practice therapy on a regular basis. I still need to get my phD, which will take an additional 4-5 years. My entire psychology department knows what illnesses I have. Other students struggle with their own mental illnesses but our department understands that we need accommodations, and they give them to us, depending on our situations. If they thought it was an issue, they too would have had a one-on-one discussion with us, and I would trust their judgment because they have been in the field for decades and are reputable and well-respected professionals.

I have shadowed upper classmen who are practicing, but never given anyone therapy myself because I am in the LEARNING phase. If I believed that my ability to treat was compromised because of my illnesses, then I would take the necessary action needed to ensure the well-being of my clients by communicating with my supervisors, and whatnot. I would not shoot blindly in the dark, and I respect future patients and myself enough to know when bias is getting in the way and rectify it immediately. Our professors have taught us about ethics (an entire course) and if we think, for whatever reason, that we cannot detach from our own views/beliefs/emotions/etc. then it is our duty to give the potential patient a referral to another practitioner rather than take the case to begin with.

I feel like I am on the defense here, like I need to prove that I have recovered greatly since my initial diagnosis. I know I have a long way to go, but instead of being "concerned" about the future of my career, don't you think it would be great to hear words of positivity and a little support instead of suggesting that I take a year off? I don't feel I am getting either in this entire forum, to be honest. I'd rather just stick with the supportive network I have besides this PTSD forum because I am gaining nothing from this beyond frustration for being judged and misunderstood. I have had this frustration multiple times, not just on this particular thread.

I have plenty of supportive friends, family, colleagues, and professionals to reach out to instead of reaching out to people who have never met me, yet some of them believe they can evaluate the extent of my PTSD based on a paragraph I wrote. That is not what mental illnesses are about, nor have we been taught that in school as psychology students. We are taught to ask the right questions, evaluate the entire situation fully (which may take multiple one-hour sessions) before coming up with a potential opinion and course of action.

I am done with this site. I recognize when something is unhealthy for my recovery, and I will go back to outlets that I know have proven to be healthy for me in the past.

Peace out.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

@Suzetig,

I think this is one of those issues that is certainly a hot button on the forum. Two out of three of the last conversations on this topic have resulted in the person wanting to be a counselor going up in arms.....which is sad because very valid concerns are being raised!

What is still annoying is that one of my classes brings in vets suffering from PTSD almost every week.

WoW.

All I have to say is WoW.

And I am HOPING you misspoke, because there isn't much of a way to misinterpret this one! You're ANNOYED that you have to listen to other PTSD sufferers tell their story? Uhm, ok, that would be fine for someone like me who isn't going into a field anywhere REMOTELY related to PTSD, but to have a future counselor say this? Yes, just WoW!

I don't think psychology is the field for you if you find it "annoying" to have to listen to other people's stories.

And ok, so you got through one single solitary session with a client....Yes, that IS a good *start* but it is indeed a far cry from where you need to be....listening to 6+ stories a day, 5 days a week, and then being on call to boot.


I see over and over with these stories is that the person wants what they want and they don't care if there is a possibility that clients will be affected in the future. Its times like these that I want to smack the person who made up the saying "you can grow up to be anything you want to be!".....well, no its not true, it never has been true and it never will be true. But, people get these thoughts in their head and it gives them the attitude that they are going to do whatever they want to do and disregard the other side of the coin.....giving the highest patient care.


AAAAAND I just noticed the OP has said she is leaving.....Again, is this a healthy attitude to have for someone who is going into direct patient care?

I hope the OP can think beyond her own wants and actually consider that other people are bringing up valid concerns.

 

[Healing1129]

Holy cow. I am not annoyed by the vet by any means. I honestly misspoke. Their stories move me and give me so much respect for their courage to battle their illness. I was annoyed that I got triggered.

Did you not read my post at all? I keep emphasizing that it is important for bias not to get in the way of clients' well-being.

I am concerned about it, but I am addressing it in therapy. If my therapist does not think I am fit for it, even after that, then I will take care of myself first so that I am better able to help other people.

I am so upset right now that I am feeling attacked on whether or not I am fit to fulfill my career. I genuinely care for people and would not want them in harms way because of me. That's the last thing I want to do. I have been discussing my progress and ability to treat with my therapist for an entire year. It is not something I am ignoring or not addressing, which is why I feel attacked.

I am bawling profusely at the moment. My intent was not to discount patients' experiences for the sake of my own. I have no intent of putting patients in harms' way or not taking seriously the impact that ability to treat has on other people.

I do appreciate that people are concerned for major issues that can get in the way of the profession and in treating patients. I really do. I just don't want to discuss it in a place where I don't feel safe or a place where I feel so poorly judged. Be assured that I am actively addressing my issues elsewhere with my therapist and other capable people.

But again, I am thankful that there are many individuals who are genuinely concerned about patients' well-being. I just wished it was addressed in a less judgmental way toward me.

 

[Suzetig]

@Solara I know it's a touchy one, and understand why especially when people have their heart set on a particular career and training is so expensive.

I've got a very iffy Internet connection so can't respond fully at the moment, but feeling anxious, irritable and depressed at the thought of listening to someone else's story because it triggers you because it makes it real - for one class a week doesn't speak to someone in control if their condition. Of course you have professionals in your life who know you well and presumably can assess your suitability to practice - again I made this very point on a different thread, and I did suggest you ignore my unwanted advice.

@Solara makes an excellent point about you finding your reaction to hearing Vets talking about PTSD annoying.

 

[Friday]

Since the thread has been completely derailed at this point anyway... @Healing1129 , while Psychology is arguably one of the best fields for those with conditions and disorders to enter into, and there's a bit of a cliche/truism that most counselors got into Psych to understand themselves to begin with... there are a few members on this board who don't believe that anyone with PTSD should work with people in pretty much any capacity. And they're quite vocal about it. These are their own issues, not yours. We've also got counselors, teachers, doctors, nurses, cops, active duty military, and a whole host of other professions where lives do depend on us... Who are either actively working in their chosen careers, or taking a break to manage symptoms, and will be heading back.

 

[Healing1129]

@Solara makes an excellent point about you finding your reaction to hearing Vets talking about PTSD annoying.

Again, I misspoke. I wish I could edit my original post, but it is not letting me.

 

[Friday]

Back on target :

Does anyone have the link for the post about ' Paraphrase: Reading in this forum is making me more symptomatic' ? I can't find it, thought I'd had it bookmarked, but as I recall there are some good strategies for what the OP was asking about... How to deal with fallout, and minimize projected fallout, from expected triggers. Not whether or not we think she should work in her chosen field.

In the meantime, MOOD management & other exposure therapy coping skills, are something I find useful in my own life. More on both in the link below :)

Link Removed

 

[digger]

Does anyone have the link for the post about ' Paraphrase: Reading in this forum is making me more symptomatic'

https://www.myptsd.com/threads/reading-forum-increases-symptoms.13886/