Anger Management

[savion]

Hello everyone,

I am posting some info about anger management and would like to get your replies and start discussion on it.

Some experts believe that anger is a result of a painful apprehensive uneasiness of the mind or illness. Others believe anger is psychoneurotic or psychotic disorder, namely depression.

While this may be true for some individuals, it is not true of everyone. The source of anger is hatred, animosity. Anger it grows throughout a person’s lifetime developing into a much more complex issue.

Savion.

 

[anthony]

Hi Savion,

Welcome to the forum. I see anger as a release of the consequence to unresolved emotions. Anger itself is often classed as an emotion, though it is actually a consequence off underpinning emotions, as per the [DLMURL="http://www.ptsdforum.org/thread12.html"]iceberg of emotions[/DLMURL] outlines.

I don't personally believe that physchosis has much to do with anger in itself, as anger is the release of an inadvertant reaction to an action. Whilst hatred, IMHO, has a little to do with anger in some aspects, it is more to do with emotions. Anger is a release of emotions. For example, if someone has abused another, they have made them "feel" an emotion/s, which these emotions are then converted into rage and anger, especially as time continues and these feelings and emotions continue to build themselves with more irrational thoughts and perception. Hatred is often also a consequence of an underpinning emotion in realistic values, where to hate someone, a person must first create an action to create an emotion in another person. That emotion is then converted into hatred, anger or rage, which ever word best fits. I think all three are nearly one in the same though. I guess the best way to look at this is through the definitions of these terms.

• Hatred - Intense animosity or hostility.
• Rage - Violent, explosive anger.
• Anger - A strong feeling of displeasure or hostility.

I think from the actual definitions of these three terms, we could classify them as one. Notice how anger is a "feeling", which by definition means:

• Feeling - An emotional state or disposition; an emotion: expressed deep feeling.

And there we have it, by legal definition, anger is a feeling, which is an emotional state, which means that it is the pinnacle / action of underpinning emotions.

In regard to anger in conjunction with PTSD, I personally think the anger we keep locked up, caused by our traumas, is a major influential factor in developing PTSD itself. Our trauma causes emotions, which these emotions when not resolved, cause anger and hostility.

This is my view point of this, but certainly by no means definitive. This is a rather interesting topic though Savion, and thank you for starting this conversation. I think it could lead to many possibilites which hopefully might garnish a solution.

 

[Roerich]

What is anger?

Hi Savion, Anthony,

I am not an expert in anger, for if I were I would be very angry indeed! I have an open mind and an insatiable appetite for trying to understand emotions. The word itself comes from roots meaning ' that which moves us', ie. e-motion.

When we come into the world I would hope we are not angry. Came across a news piece on babies born to women who have PTSD. That research suggests that mom's physiological response to trauma influences baby's hormone levels. Whilst the title of the article was eye catching, although misleading, "PTSD in the womb", bit by bit more pieces of the PTSD puzzle fall into place.

It is said that baby's first communication with the world is borne from hunger. A cry is heard. A need is communicated. No words, no e-mails, no instant messaging, just the sound of a baby crying. During time in the womb, baby was not hungry, receiving nutrients through the umbilical cord. But now things have changed, and change is always stressful (whether good or bad stress).

Hunger can be seen as a loss of comfort from lack of food. As we grow older there may be other losses as well. Pain registers in our brain. Others may annoy us or hurt us. We may become angry.

With prolonged stress and no solution we may become more angry. Over time our physiology changes and we become less able to function. Depression may be seen as dysfunction from chronic stress. Some say that depression is anger turned inwards.

Reverse that trend in dysfunction with support, therapy, medication, and a peaceful environment and the balance is tipped back into the functioning range.

Emotion may be the force that moves everything, a vital energy, perhaps life itself.

Roerich

 

[lrs]

A counselor I once had in a treatment center, continuously stated anger is a manifestation of fear. I have pondered that, but I am not sure that is 100% accurate. I think fear plays some role.
I remember if one of us were expressing anger or even acting out in anger, his common response was to get us to search within ourselves to figure out what we were fearfull of. (I'm glad I am no longer there)

 

[anthony]

A counselor I once had in a treatment center, continuously stated anger is a manifestation of fear. I have pondered that, but I am not sure that is 100% accurate. I think fear plays some role.

I'm glad your not there either lrs, as that is only part of the larger picture. Fear is an emotion, thus it can be a cause of anger, but only one of hundreds of emotions. Frustration is an emotion, and is one of the leading causes of anger within most situations. Someone gets frustrated, though they display that emotion through anger, instead of the emotion it is. Being humiliated, embarrassed, hurt, let down, etc etc etc, all emotions, all of which cause anger. If it was stated that everything comes back to fear, then I personally think this counsellor was living in the dark ages and not very conversant with what is going on in the real world.

The more I think about it, I am so glad your not getting advice or support from a person like that. You would be spending more time frustrated over trying to find what you feared, when in fact the actual frustration of finding something that didn't exist (because you weren't fearing anything at that time) would be stemming more anger. A vicous circle that counsellor had you within.

Sounds like something someone would tell you where they don't want you to get better!!!

 

[lrs]

Insightfull reply, because this silly place relied on humiliation, embarrasment, confusion, etc., as their primary means of therapy. This was the 1st exposure I had to the world of counseling and therapy.
Because of the potential trouble I could have got into with our state board, I decided to stick it out until I was discharged. I was at this hell hole for 4 months, and in some ways it was like being in prison. I have not spoken with them since I was discharged, 6 years ago.
I relapsed 2 years later, but was sent to a much better place. I have kept in contact with these fine people, and even spoke to the person who was my counselor 2 weeks ago.
I appreciate your reply, because it affirmed that my feelings about that first place were valid.

 

[Deleted member 93]

I am not sure if this is any good contribution or not as I learn. But fear controlled me. My panic was fear of fear for the most part. When I stopped fearing the panic attacks they stopped going on for hours on end. But my fears keep them coming, just losing fear of fear stopped them from cycling out of control and feeding on themselves.

Last night I felt no fear, I felt ANGER in its deepest and nastiest form. I can honestly say I am glad the man I fear was no where near me or I would be behind bars tonight. All the hate was pouring from my soul. The anger is something I need to get through... Anger just with this was not an unknown fear. I know my fear all too well. It felt good to have the Anger as with it came a sense of strength for me and no room for the fear that has run my life for 13 years now of him. To me my anger was a good step as I am fed up with fear.

I am sure I will move on somewhat at some point, but right now I feel stronger about that one hell I was put through. If he were to show up at my door again, it may all collapse, I won't know until it happens. I just hope it is not while I am in a rage I cannot see past. But for now the anger feels good. Compared to the fear anyway. As with fear I was nothing more than a mouse, with anger I feel like a lion. I hope as I move through therapy I find a middle ground. Something stable, as the anger is not. Today I did not have the blind rage but I did not have as much of the fear either. I just have to wait to see what tomorrow holds.

 

[anthony]

Fear is an emotion veiled, thus fear can be displayed as anger. With your sudden reduction in fear towards your abuser, and now anger instead, it is a positive step, but what you must remember, is that anger is not an emotion, it is actually an effect from emotions.

Maybe one could actually guess, that because you have dealt with your fear, you are releasing your true emotions now as anger. Maybe such emotions could be relief, understanding, remorse of what you have lost in time, etc etc... which are what are now causing your anger. Reducing your anger should not actually make you fear again. Having excessive anger is not a good thing either, and you do need to tap into what your real emotions are that are now stemming your new and improved anger. Relief is probably coming to mind most with me surrounding your circumstances. Relief that you no longer fear your trauma, relief that you no longer fear your abuser, relief that you have come to terms with some of your past.

You know the answer to this already though... it is within your mind, its just a matter of pinning those emotions down, and then accepting them, and ridding the anger component. Maybe it is that you need to break and cry...

 

[Deleted member 93]

Anthony,

My threapy has done a lot, but certainly I would be no where near the point I am now without your insight. It is like you are in my head, and see things going on in there that I don't. But when you type it out from so far away and it makes sense to me. I see things that I did not see before. You give me such a deeper understanding of myself which is so bizarre that you can when when I try I can't and I would think I should know myself better. I honestly cannot say how much you help getting my thinking organized.

Relief was someting I felt with the anger, I recognized that. And I hope I can cry at some point, I hope it strikes me out of the blue like the anger, it would bring more relief. Just still don't get why that part is "broken" but I am sure I will learn in time. The fear is not gone, but not what it was. The monster in this one is getting smaller.

Just still blows my mind that from Austraila you can do so much to help a mini ranch/farmgirl from Texas! Hugs from deep in the heart of Texas hon! And thank you again, it just cannot be told to you enough.

 

[anthony]

You are welcome veiled... Often our own problems are that we can't see them, this is normal with or without PTSD. More often than not, we do need just someone else to look in and analyze our own thoughts, because if we could that ourselves all the time... we wouldn't need counsellors, therapist, doctors or this board even. One of the flaws within human nature I guess.

You are doing great, and will continue to move that path with your current persistence. I guess I have a huge advantage over therapists, in that I have PTSD, so I can provide knowledge from a first hand experience, not just theory and practical, but actually living it. Doctors, therapists, all counsellors in general are stumped with PTSD... because they cannot ever know what we endure if they don't have it. Find a doctor or therapist who has PTSD, and knows and accepts it, and see if you can get into see them! I bet their waiting list is most likely a year long, or more.

 

[Boo-Damphir]

Need Help with Anger Management 101

I'm still having troubles wrapping my brain around the concept that anger is not an emotion, rather an action. Today for instance I was kneeling on the ground pulling some weeds in my flower bed and the dogs (we have 4 big dogs) were romping around playing. After about the third time of them bumping me and knocking me flat on my ass I became enraged / angry! I cursed them and sent them all back in the house. I was furious! So I tried asking myself "why do you feel angry?" And I guess it was because I couldn't play rough with them, chase them around, wrestle with them. I was having a pity party :angry-fla But why does it manifest as anger? It drives me nuts because I can go from being perfectly happy to super angry in what feels like 0.3 seconds!

After I cried and had my little pity party, I went back in the house and hugged all the dogs, told them I was sorry and cried some more. Thank goodness they have unconditional love, if I had kids they'd be screwed :mad:

How can you manage something that comes over you so fast?

 

[anthony]

Today for instance I was kneeling on the ground pulling some weeds in my flower bed and the dogs (we have 4 big dogs) were romping around playing. After about the third time of them bumping me and knocking me flat on my ass I became enraged / angry!

So... at an emotional level, you felt frustrated maybe that the dogs kept bumping into you? Frustration is an emotional response, anger is the consequence to the emotion. The emotion can be resolved by acknowledging you felt frustrated, instead of resolving the emotion by becoming angry.