Poll Anger: Road Rage

[krispy]

I drive in Chicago, and for those who don't know, it is probably the most unsafe and fast paced places to drive, you always have to fight your way into a lane and you will get cut off a lot unless you follow the guy in front of you closely.

For me the problem is power- I REFUSE to allow ANYONE to have any power over me. If I'm trying to change lanes and they speed up to block me out, I will stand my ground and keep coming over. I will not let anyone take advantage of or control me ever again. I was nearly killed doing this the other day, because he came around from behind me, to the front, and pushed me into oncoming traffic out of revenge- nearly had a head on- they had to move out of my way. Scary!

It freaked me out so bad I knew this had to stop. I kept thinking about how I'm supposed to turn the other cheek and "give to anyone who asks" so I thought I'd try it. It was hard and I wanted to add grey areas where I could still be an ass because of what the other driver is doing. I realized this isn't going to work if I allow any grey areas, I have to make it black and white, either I let them have the lane or I don't.

It occurred to me that if I willingly give them the lane, then they're not taking anything from me! So then there would be nothing to rage about!

It's hard and I still feel pissed at the audacity of these people, they think they own the world and can do whatever they want, they can risk taking my life just because they need a latte RIGHT NOW! I try not to get into their heads because they just don't care and even if there is a good reason for what they do, it's none of my business.

 

[jeapea]

I've had my moments, but the sweetest ones are when I can calmly pull in behind the proverbial idiot and pose a simple question to them for consideration.

I drove truck, semi, end dump and belly dump at various times in my life, and there is not always enough time, or acreage to accomodate certain types of idiots on the road in order to save their lives.

I did pull my truck into a wayside behind one such moron just so I could climb down out of it and walk calmly over to them and tap on the window. I asked them if they knew what it took to manuever 80K around them when they cut me off like that and do it without killing anyone else on the highway? And reminded them that maybe the next truck might not be so accomodating of their driving style. I felt proud of myself for being able to avoid an accident because of their driving. I walked off without waiting for a response, climbed back up into my truck, hit the air horn, smiled big and waved at them (nicely) and drove away. I was very angry, but, if I wanted to effect any change in at least one person out there, I knew I needed to get them to think, first. Not all truck drivers are as calm about something like that....

Sometimes I explode, but usually I'm pretty calm about it. At least I know how to drive.

 

[krispy]

Hi jps, I also have a commercial license. I wish I could tell all non-cdl drivers the very same thing, they have no idea how hard it is to stop something this heavy cuz it wants to keep going- especially with a full load. Unfortunately, people I've spoken with who don't have a cdl say "well, big vehicles have big brakes", it's a common misconception that we can stop on a dime. They don't understand that we still need 4x the stopping distance. I am infuriated every time I get cut off because they have no clue about the mass destruction they would have caused if I didn't leave myself a way out.
My job isn't to teach them a lesson, though I wish I could somehow.
My job is to just get there safely, focus on that task alone, and I have to remind myself of this every day or else I go crazy inside.

I've been a commercial driver about 5 years now, accident free, and I can appreciate the huge responsibility of what I do. Every day I check my attitude and make adjustments. Yes, sometimes I do the wrong thing, but I do have a conscience so I always make a plan of what I will do different next time. I carefully monitor my reactions and reasons to everything every day, because I am so scared I might become abusive. My abusers were abused early in their lives, does that make me susceptible to becoming abusive myself? I was attacked on a daily basis for many years and I am determined that I will never become like them. Maybe a week ago, while driving, I started thinking "I won't let anyone have control over me" just because a few people cut me off or sped up as I changed lanes, as if they were out to attack me personally, and then I did the wrong thing by trying to have "control of my life". (I get paranoid and sometimes feel like people want to hurt me). I wonder if this was how my abusers gradually became the way they were, how they justified the things they did to me, by feeling threatened when they shouldn't have been and responded by attacking. I refuse to become one of them!

I am being vulnerable by sharing so much about how my mind operates, please don't hold it against me!

 

[jeapea]

Driving a truck made me realize how much more in 'control' I had to be (taking responsibility for myself) and was by virtue of the fact that I had a much bigger responsibility than the little cars all around me. That can help on the inside with what we feel if you look at it that way.
It keeps you in control of you, ie. your truck and load, and they aren't able to be 'big' (or abusive) as long as you stay in control of you there's not a lot they can do but try to 'get to' you in as many 'small ways' as possible. Don't let them.
You're already in a good place in your thinking from the sounds of it. Cheers!

 

[A-RON]

I voted no. Regardless of how angry I get, I just can't seem to get angry about drivers or stupid things that happen while driving. Unless I get into an accident.

A few years ago, I saw a guy get murdered in a drive-by shooting. The shooter was in the front passenger seat and at a red light, he jumped out of the car. I was literally five feet away from him. He ran to the trunk, pounded on it, and said, "Open the f*cking trunk! Open the f*ucking trunk!" It was the most negative energy I had ever felt in my life.

I was with my brother-in-law and three of my neices at the time, and we took off. We got about halfway down the block and then I heard, "Pow! ...Pow! Pow! ...Pow!" I saw the guy before he was shot and he was just standing with his chest out like he was ready to fight, and then I heard the shot and I saw him go down. We were moving away from the scene, but I kept looking back and watching.

A few days later, I found out in the newspaper that the kid's mom turned him in, and I found out a bystander was also shot and killed. To think, I was only five feet away from the shooter when he jumped out of his car.

So ever since then, I can't help but laugh when someone cuts me off or flips me off or does something stupid when I'm driving. I just think about how violently angry this kid was in his moment of murder, and it gives me a little perspective.

Hmm. Now that I think about it, I think I understand what John was trying to say in this poll. It's not about Road Rage and other drivers, it's about you. I've gotten a few speeding tickets in the last two years, and it's because I was late for work. I would drive 30 miles to get to work, and I would get upset with slow vehicles, because it was a windy single-lane highway and I couldn't pass for several miles. I hated the feeling of knowing I could be to work on time if only I could pass the vehicle and speed to work. But I think the speeding was not about getting to work on time. I think it had to do with my anxiety, and then waiting behind slow vehicles gave me more anxiety, which was all part of my ongoing self-destruction that got me fired from that job.

I would still have to answer no. I'm generally a calm driver.

 

[Lionheart]

I am on medication for aggression and irritability as part of treatment for PTSD.

 

[NarcSis]

I said Yes, because I do notice things that make me angry and in my head I scream at people or occassionally say aloud something like, "idiot" or "moron". I make a concerted effort not to let the ignorance of others get to me because things just go bad if you fall to the level of other driver.
"Sometimes" just didn't cut it for me, to be completely honest.