Sufferer Anger, Why Now?

[BloomInWinter]

There is nothing wrong with anger. It is a healthy and necessary human emotion which gives us the strength to survive and defend our boundaries.

When we're not safe to express our anger in childhood, it turns inward and damages our brains, bodies, and spirits. It is ok to be angry. It is ok to express it safely.

There are healthy ways to express anger. The more we begin expressing it through naming it, the more we process it and vent it out. Eventually, we arrive at a place where we can express it as it is happening, so it no longer builds up. It is a process, and there are skills that can be learned to avoid self-harm or harming others when we feel angry.

Talking about anger is a great start. With all you've been through, why wouldn't you be angry? Who wouldn't be furious? Anger at abusive people and situations is perfectly ok.

Writing it out, talking it out, throwing ice cubes at brick walls, stomping our feet, drawing pictures of our abusers then ripping it up can all be healthy expressions of anger.

Try to be gentle with yourself. Being angry doesn't make us bad people, just human beings who experienced trauma. It gets better.

 

[illusionist]

Thank you RussH and Bloominwinter.
Over the last few days I have been processing it all.....I allowed myself to release a little, a couple of days ago, while I cleaned the bathroom.
Today, I felt myself boiling up rapidly, controlled it enough to set my alarm clock to 5 minutes, and screamed into my pillow. I used the alarm as a marker for taking control of myself......it was hard to calm down but know that I need to trust that I can control my anger, once I Let go of it.....and that I am not going to lose my mind. Anger is exhausting! But I did feel better after I calmed and set a calm atmosphere around me...wrapped myself in my cosy blanket, lit candles and put on soft music. I aim to use this, as well as writing my feelings down.

Thank you to all of you.Every bit of advice given does help us in finding our answers.

 

[Ellabella44]

was going to suggest screaming into a pillow, (i do that occasionally when its too much) but you're already there... its ok, let it go. it has to go somewhere and sounds like you have been putting it in a box and the box just cant hold it anymore. (walks off singing Let it Go from frozen)