Anger.

[Bluemoonwillow]

So I am laying on my bed enjoying some music which normally relaxes me and helps me fall asleep, got to drifting off. All of a sudden a huge wave of anger hits me I am shaking and crying, it feels like someone is hitting me. I know this isn't happening right now I know it is over and done with. I fight being pulled into the flashback, I try to get grounded reminding myself over and over it isn't happening right now. The pain continues, even once I start to pull out of it. I am sick, shaking, scared and I hurt. Where did this come from. I was not doing anything even remotely connected to the flashback, I wasn't thinking of it. I was just relaxing. The music isn't the same genre, there is nothing that should smell like that time period. I haven't been around people to remind me of then. The anger and fear keep coming back. Over and over in waves.

 

[ButterflyBean]

Your body is telling you that you need to process something, right now apparently. Do you have a therapist you can call? It sounds like you're coping techniques aren't working and you could really use some support. What about a friend who knows the situation? Maybe getting away from your current environment even though it is not connected to anything from the past at the moment? Just some really simple suggestions off the top my head. If you feel like someone is hitting you, do you feel comfortable "fighting" back by hitting a pillow? I understand what it's like to have flashbacks come out of nowhere. Happened to me a few days ago. Let me know if you need someone to chat with. Sending comforting hugs if you accept them!

 

[Bluemoonwillow]

@HollyBeans27 I do not have a therapist at this time. I finally got up and did some cleaning, it helped for now.

 

[ButterflyBean]

I'm glad the cleaning helped. Do you think it's time to look into therapy? If nothing else, I think having someone to listen would provide you with some support. Be gentle with yourself!