I look back on my life and the number of bbq's I've left, and events I've left, or skipped altogether.
I think in many cases it was the wise thing to do, at the time, and perhaps I did everyone, myself included, a favor. I was not always in a state to be "socialable" at the time and place of their choosing. And things still work out for everybody.
I've always wanted to do "better" and join in more. And today at the ripe old age of 59 I find that I HAVE definitely mellowed much, and can and do participate more. And I do it functionally and peacefully. I take time outs and quiet times - even if its just sitting in the bathroom or taking a walk while the others do their thing. And I keep an escape route and exit strategy planned at most all times. It's been a learning process for us.
My s/o of 40 years has dealt with a lot - and is the most patient, kind, understanding person in the world - without her I would not have survived. We've worked through these things - sometimes I take the lead, sometimes she does. Today we are patient with each other. I can only say that age, a desire to change, and an acceptance that that can occur over time (I can be slow and stubborn) have helped us to understand and accept these things - and to heal and grow stronger.
There are still good days and bad ones.
In social situations today I just try to be a good listener. People like to express themselves and I'm a sponge that sits and listens. I don't have to fix manage or control, just sit there. It's simple, actually. After the event is over I go back to my life. It's kinda fun sometimes. Amazing what I hear and learn sometimes simply by listening. Cheap entertainment. :rolleyes:
I hope you have a good day and thanks for sharing.
